My mom would tell you that me growing up unscathed by dysfunction and trauma is a complete miracle. My mom is a chain breaker. She worked hard to avoid passing on the unhealthy patterns of family life in which she was raised. Instead, she set me on solid ground with a strong dose of healthy habits and thought patterns as I started adult life. As a little girl, and then later as a teen, I regularly heard a prayer whispered over me: “Please protect this child from her Momma’s mistakes.” She believed God would do exactly that and help her to raise me up better than she could on her own.
My mom didn’t hand down the depression and chronic fatigue that have been her own battles. In their place, she passed on to me her fierce determination to believe what God says and trust him. She is the bravest women I’ve ever met. Where she had to use her fortitude to fight for health, I have been able to put my strength into other things–missions, adoption, mentoring, writing, and family preservation programs in Ethiopia.
Every step, my mom has cheered me on and lent me her wildly solid faith in God. She beams with pride when we talk about my passions and pursuits, and sometimes I hear her say things like, “If I had been stronger, I would have loved to do something like this.”
Mom used every ounce of strength to fight for me. She chose a long view and changed the trajectory of our whole family. Her tenacity and grit made my strength free. It isn’t already spoken for like hers was.
She gave me something precious. Not only wholeness itself, but the understanding that it is a valuable gift. This clear-eyed approach to life feels heavy and substantial in my hands–something that needs to be protected and spent wisely. It didn’t come cheap to my mom.
I’m not the only one in the body of Christ who holds the gift of wholeness in my hands. Maybe you’ve grown up strong. Maybe you’ve been raised in a home where you were cherished, taught to love Jesus from your youth, and given confidence and hope. Maybe significant pieces of yourself aren’t in recovery but in growth mode instead. Perhaps your faith isn’t perfect, but you did enter adulthood with a settled certainty that God is real and worth following.
It’s time to hold our wholeness up and let it catch the light. It’s precious and beautiful. It has power to cast light into all kinds of dark corners for God’s glory. It needs to be protected and cultivated and then offered freely to the needs of the world.
You are the Caretaker
Wholeness is not static. Fullness of life comes through hard work, either our own or that of someone who came before, and certainly through the work of the Holy Spirit. The powers of darkness are also hard at work, trying to steal, kill and destroy it (John 10:10). Our role as caretakers cannot be taken lightly. We must be dead serious about self-care. It is a righteous endeavor to maintain a strong heart, mind, and body. Soak your mind in God’s Word, sleep well, eat healthy, light a yummy smelling candle, and read a novel in the hammock. Do the things you know you need, so when it’s time to pour yourself out, the cup is full.
You are the Channel
God’s plan is for his grace and mercy to flow through us. We have been given much, and “to whom much is given, from him much will be required” (Luke 12:48 NKJV). It is required because it can be required, because our shoulders are strong. We can muscle that load off of our brother’s shoulders onto ours and bear his burden. It fulfills the law of Christ when we do (Gal. 6:2).
[Tweet “Strong shoulders are a sacred trust to be shared.”]We can help a single mom bear the weight of her schedule. We can stand shoulder to shoulder with friends who are grieving. Our shoulders can hold the weight of childhood trauma thrust upon an innocent orphan and walk with them towards healing. Our strength can make a difference all the way across the globe when we respond to the needs of the poor, sick, and forgotten.
My sister gave me a magnet that ties up these thoughts with a bow. The picture shows a girl with a cute pair of pumps in one hand and a mod handbag in the other with “pluck” emblazoned on the side and a tag hanging off that says, “To: The World.” Above her are the following words:
“She packed up her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things. Her heart glowed with a degree of happy assurance.”
Our bags are packed. The world needs what’s in them. Let’s grab a pair of shoes that lifts our hearts and makes us ready to carry our bags all over the world as whole women: strong, brave, and happy.
Lori Florida’s life is all about her people. She’s convinced that being Mrs. to one and Mommy to eight will be her most significant way to serve Jesus. She wants to use her life to cheer on and coach the women coming behind her. Lori blogs at loriflorida.com.
Susan Ream says
Powerful and beautiful picture of strength being passed on. Thank you Lori!
Lori Florida says
My mom gave me so much out of what she though were inadequacies. I’m just so thankful for that. Thanks for reading!
Carolina Cisneros says
What a powerful and inspiring message. So glad I read this today. Be blessed. And thank you for blessing me. xoxo
Lori Florida says
Your kinds words are a blessing!
Selina Robinson says
Beautiful and spot-on depiction of your momma. I tried to be a chain-breaker for my family like your mom and I, like her, could have never done it without Jesus!
Lori Florida says
Yes Selina! You and Jesus are giving a gift to your kids!
jessicavanroekel says
I am currently a chain-breaker and as I hold up my wounds to Jesus, he fills in the cracks and causes a certain kind of beauty to be poured out. Bravery, strength, and happiness have been something sought for and fought for. It’s still a journey and I pray that my kids will be protected from this mama’s mistakes. Independence is not strength. Hardness is not bravery. Dependence on Jesus is strength. A soft heart is a brave heart. A surrendered heart is a happy heart. Thank-you for these words! I needed to hear a daughter’s perspective on her chain-breaking mother and hope and pray my lovelies will find that significant pieces of themselves are in growth mode because of what Jesus is working out in my heart.
Thanks!
Lori Florida says
It’s amazing to watch growth happen in someone else because of what Jesus is doing inside of us – what a legacy you are leaving behind! Keep it up Momma, your children are already reaping a reward!