Wherever You Go, God Is There

Every summer of my childhood growing up in a coastal city, I spent many days coated in sunscreen and sand, swimming in water that made my lips turn blue. The plots of land near the water were only half-developed back then so we would park down random alleyways that had big sandlots where houses would be built in the 90s. After a day in the water, drinking sodas dripping with condensation straight from the cooler, I loved getting into the warm, stuffy car and drifting off to sleep on the drive home.

As I got older, I lost my love of the ocean, but my love for the city where I lived remained unchanged. I began to make memories in different places there. I still visited the water with my friends, but we went shopping at the mall and had sleepovers at each other’s houses and spent a large chunk of time at church, too. We went to summer camps and winter camps and traveled together on missions trips. Even though I had a really hard and trauma-filled childhood, there were so many pockets of good memories and strong friendships formed in this little coastal city, and I declared in high school that I could never imagine leaving it.

I watched as my friends slowly left. Some went to college far away. Some married military men whose careers sent them packing to different states or countries. I watched as our friendships stretched thin but remained strong and resilient. Every time we were back home, we managed to make time to see each other, even if just for a couple of hours. Even as I watched them leave, I had a strong desire to stay — until suddenly I was ready to go.

In the early fall of 2015, I took a trip to Austin, Texas for a long weekend with some new friends. The trip was incredible. I laughed and cried and bonded with women from all over the United States, knowing I was making adult friends who would last a lifetime. When the day came for us to head home, I sat on the airplane, crying so hard from the time we pulled away from the gate to the time we reached cruising altitude that the flight attendant came over to make sure I was okay.

In that moment I knew I was ready to leave home. It wasn’t that I couldn’t wait to get away from California; I just could not wait to be in Texas. I was ready to go right away, but God needed to spend a few years preparing me emotionally for some very hard “see you laters.” After two and a half years of praying and worrying, the day came for me to get in my car and make the 1,400-mile journey.

I cried off and on for the entire drive, which I made alone over two days. Leaving a place and people who were so pivotal to my formation was the hardest, most painful thing I have ever done. Kissing my fourteen-year-old sister and the dogs goodbye, then watching my parents watch me drive away, I felt like someone had rubbed my heart with a cheese grater. The pain was unreal.

I made it safely to Austin and accepted the job I was hoping I’d be offered once I arrived: a case manager with an amazing foster care nonprofit. My days since arriving have been good and hard equally as I’ve made friends and also longed for the familiar things I left behind.

I miss my people back in California every day. I miss my parents’ dogs. I miss the familiarity of the roads and the sight of the ocean and the locations throughout the city that were the landmarks of my childhood and my entry into adulthood. I want to be in Austin with my whole heart, but I am working on what that looks like, as a large piece of my heart is still in California and probably always will be.

God has made a way here for me in Austin, however, and he is teaching me so much about relationships and trust. Sometimes I think about how Joshua felt when God called finally him to the Promised Land after so many years. I wonder how his emotions must have been rushing around inside of him, both excitement and fear ricocheting off each other. I love to think about the words God spoke to Joshua during this time: “Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, CSB). Even in the hardest transitions in our lives, where God takes out from a place we know so well to a place that is different and new, he is with us wherever we go.

Today, like every other day since I’ve been an Austinite, I will speak to myself God’s words to Joshua. I will tell myself to be strong and courageous and to not be afraid or discouraged, not because it will magically be perfect and pain-free, but because God is with me through this wild new journey.

He is with me wherever I go, Southern California or Austin, Texas, and that will never change.

Krista Wilbur is a new transplant to the Austin area, after spending nearly her whole life in Southern California. She is a case manager at Austin Angels. Krista loves bright colors, dogs, reading, cross stitching, and making new friends. Her first book, Four Letter Words, is available on Amazon.