God Knows Best, or, Learning to Trust

As I drove to work in the midst of a crazy, five-week stretch of life, God reminded me he always knows best. My husband, Ordell, and I had been talking about moving closer to the college where we both work for months. It was in the middle of the five-week craziness that God gifted us with the opportunity for that move, meeting our most pressing need, but with what felt like the worst timing ever.

“God,” I cried out, “I need margin in my life right now, not more to do!” Immediately I heard, “Yes, I’m doing that. The margin you crave, the house you’ve prayed for, it’s all coming at the same time.”

This has been a pattern for me with God for a while now. The deepest desires of my heart, the achy prayers, have been answered, but at what my calendar would consider the wrong time. So each amazing blessing has also been gifted with a process requiring me to step out in faith, fight fear, and trust that God’s timing is best.

When I say I have this pattern surrounding prayers being answered, I’m a little embarrassed. I’m thankful that God has revealed himself as my protector, healer, and provider, yet the journey toward obedience and understanding has included a repeated lesson that’s revealed in me a hard head and even harder heart.

Psalm 37:3–5 in the New American Standard Bible says, “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.”

When I read these verses now, I paraphrase, “Trust in the Lord and then he will do good. Delight yourself in the Lord and then he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and then he will do it.”

At times, my life has felt as though God and I have been in a standoff. I pray for help, and he says, “Yes, absolutely! Just trust that I will help you.” I freeze. He stands there ready and willing to help me, and I say, “Hey, God, um, could you just do what I ask? Trusting will be so much easier when I see you move.” Here’s the thing, though. [Tweet “God asks us to trust him first, before he moves in our lives.”] He’s been consistent in that from the very beginning.

In Genesis 3:1–7, we read that God made one tree that was off limits; no one was to eat from it. Eve was manipulated by a serpent, and the rest is our history. Just as Eve was curious enough to try to change the order of things, I find myself doing the same thing. And the silly part is that when it finally comes to the point where God is moving and answering my prayers, I fight him on it!

When the house I talked about for months suddenly became available, all I could think about was how much work was involved. My schedule was filled already, as was everyone else’s in the family. The thought of packing, sorting, loading trucks, and even decorating a new house felt so overwhelming I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. The promise of margin lay on the other side of our three-week moving timetable, however, and when I finally relented and trusted that God always knows what’s best, all the pieces fell into place.

Other prayers have been answered in this same pattern. Our move to Virginia involved ten years of prayers that felt unheard. When I finally surrendered to the idea of moving to a place for Ordell’s job, which didn’t make sense, and with timing that felt completely wrong, God answered those ten years of prayers within a two-month span. We had a fresh start, were surrounded by amazing people, and had opportunities for ministry and for our sons. It was all there–immediately after I stopped fighting and started to trust.

I suffer from hypothyroidism, and in my darkest periods of illness, I cried out for God to heal me. I thought I was doing things right diet- and physician-wise, but again, I needed to trust God’s nudge. A specialist was needed. God directed me to the right doctor, but I needed to take the step to trust and ask for help. Medication changes have led to a complete turnaround in my health.

I have many more examples, but the pattern has always been the same. I pray, God says to trust him, and I fight. As I stood in our yard at Easter, watching my kids run around with friends, with a house filled with colleagues, I felt God nudge me again. “This is why now needed to happen.” I’m excited to see all this new season holds. And I’m thankful God is patient to wait on me as I strive to trust.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her own voice through pursuing Jesus, personal life reflection, and her ministry encouraging college women to grow in their relationships with God. She blogs at lessonsfromthesidelines.wordpress.com.

Photograph © Bethany Beams, used with permission