The Power of the Table

The Glorious Table is happy to welcome Mary DeMuth to the table today. Mary is the author of the recently released Worth Living (Baker Books, 2016), which aims to show women that they can feel joy because they are secure in God’s love for them and their unique place in the world.

When I married Patrick, we were gifted a round antique table—my mom’s boyfriend’s contribution to our marriage. We had rickety chairs and very little money. I learned how to cook—tenuously, by doggedly following recipes, not always successfully. Bread equaled bricks for a long time—hard and nearly inedible. I tried my hand at what I called salmon soup, but it was watery and fishy. I made many failure meals, but each time I got better.

From the very beginning, we invited people into our lives—around that table. We broke bread with friends, prayed with the struggling, and laughed, creating our own sense of family.

And when our children hollered their way into our lives, we enlarged our circle. We made makeshift leaves so others could join us. We hosted in Seattle, Washington; then Palestine, Texas (our first cross-cultural move!); then Dallas, Texas where Patrick attended Dallas Theological Seminary. Money was tight then, but we continued this tradition of inviting people around our table.

And then we moved overseas—to the French Riviera. You would think our table theology became awesome there, and it did. I learned new methods of Mediterranean cooking. I made bread the French people raved about (much to my surprise). We overloaded ourselves with guests, though. Ten, fifteen, twenty, even twenty-five people at our house every week.

So when we moved back to the Dallas area, I had enough of the table. Thankfully, we still ate around our same round antique table every night with our kids, but we scaled way back on inviting others in. Completely burned out from nearly three years of hyperactive entertaining, we needed to cocoon a bit and heal from some of the trauma we experienced as church planters.

But God started stirring me. I have dreamed of long, long outdoor tables for years, and last summer we were able to commission my friend’s husband to build us these amazing tables. We inaugurated them several times, opening up our home (and outdoor patio) to people God has placed in our lives. They are a symbol of what God has healed—a hint of his resurrection ways.

We still have that old round table. And when all my children sit around it (rare these days, as they’re all grown up), I feel complete. I make dinners from scratch, not through recipes but by feel—a benefit of years and years of practice. (I am certain I practiced Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule with cooking.)

[Tweet “What does a table have to do with worth? We dignify others around the table.”] We listen. We affirm. We cheer. We cry. (And we eat. A lot.) Some of the most healing moments for me have come around the table. One night I was lamenting something with publishing. I’d had a bad review, and I let the words sink into me like food poisoning. I tried not to cry as I shared my heartache.

Then one by one, the members of my little family piped up. “I’m so glad God made you,” one said. “I’m grateful you’re my mom,” another said. Encouragement wafted up before me, and I settled myself into it, grateful for life-giving words around an old antique table.

Mary DeMuth is an international speaker and podcaster, and she’s the author of over thirty books, the latest being Worth Living: How God’s Wild Love for You Makes You Worthy. She loves to help people re-story their lives. She lives in Texas with her husband of 25 years and is the mom to three adult children. Find out more at marydemuth.com

Photograph © Mary DeMuth, used with permission