Raising Girls: The Princess Predicament

With two daughters ages eleven and four, I’ve spent the better part of the past decade being inundated by all things princess. Cinderella, Rapunzel, Ariel, and Belle have all spun for countless hours in our family’s DVD player, and I can sing every word of the Frozen soundtrack. We’re a princess household.

I like the classic princess tales, with their sweet stories and happy endings. But when it comes to the Bible, I’d like us to rethink using the word princess.

Especially when referring to young girls, I hear the term princess being used as a reference to a girl’s biblical birthright as the daughter of the King. But I have to be honest—I’m uncomfortable using it to describe myself or my daughters.

When I think of princesses, I think of helpless girls in a tower or hiding in the woods. Damsels in distress, waiting for their princes to come. But here’s the thing: [Tweet “We are not damsels in need of rescue; we have already met the One who saves!”] Now it’s time to get in the trenches and begin search and rescue. Ladies, our birthright isn’t a comfortable throne and a safe life; it is dirty hands and full hearts.

We must be willing to step into the fray and out of our comfort zones. Being a daughter of the King is certainly not glamorous. Jesus never intended for us to separate ourselves from the world; he expects us to fully immerse ourselves in loving and serving others. Sometimes that means being in unsafe places, or at the very least, in awkward situations.

Our daughters’ generation has the financial ability and access to end poverty and the water crisis on a global level, but nobody is telling them this. Instead, we focus on the princess points: their hemlines, purity, and patience.

I struggled writing this piece—I’ve written and deleted what feels like a million words. So I decided to ask my eleven-year-old, Makenna, how she feels about being called a princess in regard to being a child of God. Here’s what she said:

“I don’t think I’m a princess. Princesses are fancy and they have servants. Being a daughter of the King means I’m supposed to serve other people, not expect them to serve me. I know I’m known and loved by God, and that he thinks I’m special, but I’m not any more special than his other children.”

She hit on something I hadn’t been able to adequately articulate. Princesses are served; daughters of the King serve others. Princesses are put on a pedestal; daughters of the King lower themselves. There is no sense of entitlement, just the desire to serve others and serve him. I’m so thankful my sweet one knows she is treasured by God, but I’m equally grateful she understands that her identity as his child isn’t one of privilege. Often it is one of humility.

When I read the Bible, I can’t help but notice most of its prominent heroines weren’t royalty. They were regular women and girls who answered God’s call, and following him rarely led them to safe situations or fancy lives. Esther was the only earthly queen who answered God’s call, and she almost got herself killed. Deborah listened to God and led an army against all odds, while the men around her cowered. Rahab took a risk to help Joshua’s scouts out of reverence for the mysterious God she’d only heard about. Mary said yes to God and faced the cultural consequences of becoming pregnant out of wedlock.

None of those acts of faith are synonymous with demure, gentle, safe princesses. They were actions of strength, courage, and honor—words typically used when describing the deeds of a warrior. God wasn’t looking for damsels; he was looking for women who would be willing to step up, obey, and move.

What if we stop calling our daughters princesses when relating them to God? What if we let Disney have the princesses, and give God his daughters? What if we model our lives after Christ and teach our daughters to do the same?  It is my hope that we are women—and that we raise women—who are admired for their strength, compassion, and courage. [Tweet “Let us refuse to live passive lives in our towers, and instead embrace the lives God intends for us.”] Sisters, we are so much more than princesses. We are daughters of the King, known and loved by him. Let us step boldly into that privilege, serving him with all we have.

Becky Yurisich is a full-time Army wife and mom, and an occasional teacher of first graders. She is an unapologetic follower of Jesus and the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. Becky holds a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education from UNC, and dreams of writing a book. She blogs at beckyyurisich.com.