When Grace Surprises Us

Almost a year ago now, we moved back home. We’d been away for nearly a decade, and I’d gotten used to starting over. We’d started over in new cities, at new churches (more than a few times), new homeschool groups, new book clubs and dance studios. And I figured moving back home would be more of the same. But sometimes, grace surprises us.

I should caveat this story by defining what I mean by “home.” We moved back to our home state, to my husband’s childhood home, where his best friend and most of his family still live. For me, it was moving back to the home of my heart, but I’d really only lived there for three years when we moved away for my husband to start graduate school. I’d lived away more than twice as long as I’d lived in the place to which we were returning.

I was returning to a job, but my office was still closed due to COVID. Two of my closest friends had moved away, and most of the others I’d only kept in touch with sporadically. If you’ve ever moved away from a place, you know that it’s impossible to keep up all your relationships the way you did before. In short, I wasn’t sure what I was returning to. Would I still have relationships? Would I have to find new friends? Would I be starting over again, even though we were going home?

It was pretty clear to both me and my husband that we weren’t just going home by chance–God was sending us. He had closed some doors and opened others in quick succession, a pace that dazzled us and left us breathless. The truth was, I’d been homesick for my three-year-home the entire time we’d been away. I missed the landscape, the seasons, the places I’d called my own. I’d felt more like myself there than I’d ever felt anywhere else.

I believed God was sending us home, but I didn’t know what else he had in store. I didn’t know he had a house and four-and-a-half acres of rolling land all picked out for us, a place that would make my heart nearly burst with joy when I woke to find myself there every morning. I didn’t know he had a role waiting for me to play in the lives of some other homeschooling moms who were craving connection and were just waiting for someone with initiative to come along and bring them together. I didn’t know he was going to enchant my daughters with the seasons and the landscape, the same way he’d enchanted me all those years ago. I didn’t know he’d have new kindred spirits waiting to welcome me into their lives with breakfasts and coffees and dinners and conversations about books. Sometimes, grace surprises us.

And I didn’t know how he’d prepare the hearts of my old friends to welcome me home with open arms, as though they’d been waiting for me all along to return. I didn’t know how we’d pick up right where we’d left off, how they’d still see me with clear eyes and hear my heart and embrace my family.

I didn’t expect moving home to be hard–I knew I was being given a gift, that God had heard the longing in our hearts–my husband’s and mine–and he was prepared, had even planned, to honor that longing when the time was right. But I also didn’t know if things would be different or if they would feel familiar.

The answer to all my questions was yes. Yes, I would make new friends, but I would reunite with my old ones. Yes, things would be different, but they would also be the same. Yes, some things would be hard, but other things would be as easy as slipping on an old pair of cozy mittens. Yes, I’d be starting over, but I’d also be picking up the threads of a life that was still there.

When grace surprises us, sometimes all we can do is breathe deep our thanks for the God who sees us, who hears our hearts and honors our longings because he created them, just as he created us.

Harmony Harkema has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. A former English teacher turned editor, she has spent the past twelve years in the publishing industry. A writer herself in the fringe hours of her working-and-homeschooling mom life, Harmony has a heart for leading and coaching aspiring writers. She is the owner of The Glorious Table and cohost and producer at The Relatable Homeschoolers podcast. Harmony lives in Michigan with her husband and two daughters. You can find her at HarmonyHarkema.com and on Instagram @harmonyharkema.

Photograph © Freestocks, used with permission