Seeking Satisfaction

We have a cat who has some dog-like tendencies. She greets us at the door when we arrive home. She plays fetch with her favorite milk-cap-on-a-string toy. She escapes outside, and she sits next to us as we eat dinner. But my favorite trait is the way she appears from seemingly nowhere when I reach into the cupboard and open a bag of tortilla chips. Those, by far, are her favorite snack.

I can’t remember when her love for tortilla chips started, but I do know it was all my fault. There came a point when I gave in to her meows and purrs and rubs against my feet and threw a piece of tortilla chip on the floor while I was snacking. For the next few seconds, her loud munching filled the room as she discovered a love of people food. And it did not stop there. I experimented with small bites of potato chips, popcorn, ham, turkey, scrambled eggs. She loves them all.

At first it was cute because I liked the special bond we formed over people food. But lately, her aggressiveness has become somewhat annoying. One piece of food no longer satisfies. She begs for more. When it comes to the point of me physically pushing her away from my plate, my annoyance level is high. The nerve! I think.“ I cannot believe how greedy you’ve become! But soon, the Holy Spirit awakened me to a sad truth. I realized I’m 100 percent guilty of doing the same thing my cat does. I’m greedy. I’m selfish. I overstep my boundaries. I forget to be grateful. I want more.

For instance, my sweet husband started rubbing my feet before bed a while back because I had a lot of foot pain. Now my pain is gone, but I’m still asking for a massage every single night, and it’s no longer just my feet. “Could you massage my feet AND my shoulders?” When he’s finished, I ask him to please keep going. “Just a few more minutes,” I beg. But when he asks for a massage in return, I become resentful. The nerve of me!

This is true of other areas in my life, too. On vacations, instead of enjoying the gift God has given me, I’m already planning my next vacation. I deserve another one. I want more. Or while working on a home renovation, instead of being grateful for the opportunity to update our home with the current project, I’m already running to the store to buy things for another one. I’m not satisfied yet. I want more.

They say the more you have, the more you want. I agree. It starts with wanting but wanting gives birth to selfishness and thinking we deserve things. I personally struggle with entitlement, the belief that I am inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. My cat, we’ve found, also struggles with this. God has thankfully opened my eyes to this sin in my life. The beauty of his Spirit living in me is that I want this sin to stop. I want to be humble instead of proud and arrogant. I don’t want to feel entitled anymore. So how do I break the cycle?

Well, looking at the cross is a good first step. Seeing my tortured and bloody Savior hanging there to die for me can definitely put things into perspective. To die a death like his is the only thing I actually deserve. Period.

God’s Word also has answers for me. The first verse I memorized as a new adult believer was Jeremiah 15:16, “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart.” I want to tell my cat that God’s Word will satisfy her more than any tortilla chip ever could. And God wants to tell me that there is no real satisfaction in feeling entitled.

He even gave me a chance to repent of my entitlement recently, after my husband and I were gifted with some money from a family member. I immediately had great plans for spending it. I could not wait to get rid of the carpet in our dining room and replace our ancient, stained oven and non-matching free fridge. I was consumed by Pinterest searches and measuring our dining space and dreaming of how beautiful everything could be. After all, we’re almost approved to be foster parents and we deserve to not have carpet under our dining table. The kids deserve to have a beautiful house to live in, too. When I told my husband my plans, I could tell he was struggling with my entitlement. And bless his heart, he let God lead me through this lesson instead of pointing a finger at me.

The next day, as I was praying and doing morning devotions, the tears came. You see, I wanted all of the tortilla chips to myself. I had forgotten how blessed I already was, even with my carpeted dining room and free, non-matching fridge. They were gifts from God that were lost to me when I forgot to be thankful for them. When I find myself forgetting to be thankful, taking advantage of people, and asking for more, I need to repent and unload my selfish desires in order to make room for Christ. I need to picture him on the cross and gain a right perspective.

What are you wanting more of? What are you partaking in that has you craving it over and over? Is it pointing you to God’s kingdom, or are you simply satisfying your own tortilla chip craving?

Audrey Osborn loves sunshine, quiet mornings, half-caf coffee, cute kitties, and anything crafty. You can find her crafts on Etsy @TheLittleOsbornShop. She and her husband live in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where they are excited to be pursuing foster care with the hope of bringing love to kids in need.