A Love That Saves

Every marriage has some kind of love story behind it. My husband’s and mine began in college, like many. This year, we celebrated our fifteen year wedding anniversary. Our story is one that only God could have written. Sharing it here, I hope to celebrate our love and glorify our heavenly Father.

Mike and I met at a Halloween party, where we had lots of fun dancing and too much to drink. We had friends who went to the same college, while we attended different colleges. His friends were hosting the party, and my girlfriend invited me to go with her. I walked in the door and found a bunch of guys sitting at a table, playing cards. Being that it was Halloween, Mike was dressed in all black and wore a cowboy hat, trying to be Johnny Cash. I liked him right away.

He asked for my phone number that night, and we went out on our first date the following weekend. He took me to a haunted house and, looking back, knowing I’m a bit of a wuss, I’m surprised he asked me out again after that. If I remember correctly, he couldn’t even wait until the date was over to ask me out again. We had fun together, and it is a beautiful thing to be enjoyed like that.

I grew up in the Catholic tradition, although my family didn’t follow it very strictly. During college, I did not seek to grow my faith in any way, and I would certainly say I was not “walking with Jesus.” Mike grew up with no religious background and considered himself an atheist. He was not interested in exploring faith or God.

We dated for the next two years, and near the end of that time, I began to realize that something was missing for me. Faith was back on my radar as I watched my sister find and fall in love with the Lord. I went to church with her once, and  I remember I loved listening to the people worshiping God together through beautiful music. The hole in my heart felt like it was being poured into during that church service.

I asked Mike more than once if he would come to church with me, but he was still not interested. I didn’t want to let this bother me or come between us, but the reality was that it did. I loved him, but I knew the Lord was asking me to walk away from our relationship. I did not handle that breakup well. I am not sure any breakup goes really well, but I know I did not do a good job of explaining everything I was thinking and feeling, and I left Mike hurt and confused.

Even though I knew I had done the right thing, and I sought the Lord and dove into my Bible, my life didn’t automatically change. Eventually, I felt that I needed to get away, so I decided to do some travel nursing. First, I did an assignment in South Carolina for three months. Then, one of my good friends was coming home from a deployment in Kuwait, and I found an assignment in the same town. We had been roommates in college and shared an apartment together during my assignment. She had been present during most of my relationship with Mike and expressed great surprise about our breakup.

I ended up being at that assignment for eight months, during which Mike and I began messaging each other online. At first, we exchanged stories about the paths our lives had taken, but the more we talked, the more important topics came up. We explored our breakup, and I was finally able to be clear about my need for a husband who shared my faith.

Eventually, I went home for a cousin’s bridal shower. Mike and I connected at the church I had attended when I lived there. I will never forget giving him a hug in the parking lot. He smelled so good, and I wanted God to open the door for us more in that moment than any time before. We were both appropriately cautious, though. A few weeks later, Mike came to visit me in North Carolina. We had dinner at a fancy restaurant one night and went to a movie the next. As we walked out of the movie, there were posters advertising The Passion of the Christ, which was back in theaters the year after its initial release. Mike said he had not seen it, and I suggested he watch it.

He went home and directly to the video store. He told me he had rented the movie but was going to watch it the next day, so when my phone rang while I was on the midnight shift at work, I thought something must be wrong. When I answered, Mike was crying. He just said, “I get it now. I am so sorry. I believe in Jesus.” I sat in the break room and cried happy tears.

About two months later, I went back home for my cousin’s wedding, which Mike attended with me. The next day, we went to the mall and walked around, which was a perfect opportunity to ask him some challenging questions. I told him I knew it sounded weird to ask if he had made Jesus his personal Savior, but I needed to know he was sure about becoming a Christian. It can be hard to admit that we need saving. Joyfully, Mike said that he had accepted Jesus as his Savior, and he was ready for the next steps God had for him.

Before I went home for the wedding, Mike had decided to enlist in the Air Force, which I wholeheartedly supported. It sounded like an exciting adventure to me. He told his parents that he had become a Christian, and while they were not negative about it, neither were they really supportive. Thankfully, that did not deter him from pursuing his relationship with God.

Less than a month after my cousin’s wedding, Mike again visited me in North Carolina. When I arrived at the airport to pick him up, I found him down on one knee, and he asked me to marry him. We spent four months planning a September wedding, which turned out to be a fun-filled, glorious day.

He left for basic training right before Thanksgiving that year, and I joined him when he went to Tech School the following February. God orchestrated every detail of the amazing life we have together, including so many things I don’t have space to write about. Feeling sure of his hand on us and watching him work in our lives has been the greatest gift. Our faith has grown, as individuals we well as together, as a couple and as a family.

While I shed many tears during the time we were apart, ultimately, I had to trust that God had a plan for me. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us that when we trust in the Lord, he will give us the desires of our hearts. Our story exemplifies this verse, and I celebrate God all the more because of his faithfulness in our relationship.

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.

Photograph © Kiwihug, used with permission