The Mission Field of Motherhood

“Hear, O Israel! The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deut. 6:4-8 NKJV)

There are some terrible examples of parenting in the Bible–lying, manipulation, playing favorites–and then there are some great examples of self-sacrifice and unconditional love. Interestingly, I’ve always thought that some of the best examples of parenting in Scripture are people who weren’t the biological parents of those they were parenting. Moses, for example, who begged God over and over to spare the children of Israel. Naomi, who did everything she could to secure her daughter-in-law’s future. And of course, Jesus, who was himself the greatest gift of our heavenly parent, and whose mission field was all of us for all time.

As a mom, I am always looking for role models–not for my children, but for myself. I’m always reading one parenting book or another in an effort to add to my mom toolbox. I fight my natural inclinations to be impatient and to say things like, “Because I said so.” I try to cherish every moment, even when I am bone-weary at the end of a day of refereeing arguments between my daughters, even when the bedtime routine has taken six times longer than it needs to, even when I just stepped on a LEGO for the 34,726th time. I remind myself that childhood is fleeting. (Facebook memories help with this–they shock me on the reg. Was that really four years ago already? ) The best role models, I’m finding, are those who point me back to the role model: Christ. The truth is, we really need no other.

I try to remind myself, in the midst of dishes and laundry and schoolwork and squirrel infestations in our attic and the demands of my own full-time corporate job, that the most important thing I have to do every day is to make sure my kids know who Jesus is. And that for them, I am his best emissary simply because I am here, all day, every day. I am on mission 24/7, whether I feel like it or not. I don’t believe I can leave it up to the pastors and the Sunday school teachers, wonderful as they are, to teach my kids about Christ once a week with a 5-minute video and a craft. In Deuteronomy–which, granted, was long before the establishment of the church or even of the temple–the responsibility for imparting spiritual truth is given to parents.

This is why, almost every morning, I read the Bible aloud to my girls. I’ve been doing this since my older daughter, who is almost eight, was old enough to start hearing Bible stories. We began with a little picture Bible, simply worded and beautifully illustrated. In addition to enjoying a Bible story every morning, we pray together and sing a hymn or two as a way of worshiping God not just in church, but in our everyday lives at home. We also began memorizing verses when she was small (initially by song), and now she knows more Scripture than I ever did as a child. I did not gain a firm handle on the promises of Scripture until I was an adult, but it has become a foundation for me, a source of strength and comfort in the face of every challenge and hurt. I want my kids to have that foundation now. Psalm 119 says:

How can a young man cleanse his way?
By taking heed according to Your word.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blessed are You, O Lord!
Teach me Your statutes.
With my lips I have declared
All the judgments of Your mouth.
I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
I will meditate on Your precepts,
And contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word.

I lay all this out for you not to try to show what a great Christian mom I am. In fact, it’s the opposite. When I was pregnant for the first time, I don’t think anyone ever mentioned to me that above all else, motherhood is humbling. Through it, we come to the very end of ourselves, whether that is during labor or when we’re washing vomit-covered sheets at 2 a.m. As for the humbling power of poop–well, we don’t really need to go there, do we? We can’t mother even remotely well without God’s help.

Teaching my children who God is makes me more aware of my own iniquities than almost anything else. No one knows what a mess I am better than my kids. No one is more impacted by my brokenness. Hardly a day passes when there isn’t an opportunity to teach them about Christ by having to ask them and him for grace, by showing them how much I need Jesus myself. I am not the Adult Who Knows All Things or Supermom or Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. If we want to get into literary comparisons, I am much closer to Sam Gamgee than Gandalf. I am another pilgrim, like John Bunyan’s Great Heart, a companion on the road, a would-be guide who stumbles occasionally and gets lost and has to pull out my map a lot but who is willing to fight fiercely any approaching foe. I just also happen to be their mother, responsible for their care for a very little while. I do my best to point the way and share my map, to hold their hands and help them over the rough places, but that is really all I can do.

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Motherhood is not a grand mission field, but it is a critical mission field. I am often tempted to imagine that my mission field is somehow grander, more Instagram-worthy than sweeping up crumbs and brushing hair and wiping bottoms and bandaging knees. And while my mission field is not confined to my children, they are the center of it, the primary focus. Children are the fertile soil Jesus talks about in the Parable of the Sower:

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” (Matt. 13:3-9 NLT)

Harmony Harkema has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. A former English teacher turned editor, she has spent the past eleven years in the publishing industry. A writer herself in the fringe hours of her working-and-homeschooling mom life, Harmony also has a heart for leading and coaching writers. Harmony lives in Memphis with her husband and two daughters. She blogs at harmonyharkema.com.

Photograph © Sasin Tipchai, used with permission