Seeing Past the Mess

I love throw pillows. They’re unequivocally my favorite decor item. I like to change them out with the holidays and seasons to make my home feel more festive and cozy. I love building myself a pillow nest to snuggle up and watch movies. I’m pretty frugal, so I consider throw pillows an investment, and I try to take good care of the ones I have. Unfortunately, not everyone in my house has the same appreciation for throw pillows that I do.

Between the other four members of my family and our seventy-five-pound Goldendoodle, Stanley, the throw pillows constantly find themselves splayed out on my living room floor. I put the pillows on the couches; they throw them on the floor. It’s like a sick game everyone but I enjoys playing. Sometimes it feels like they do it on purpose.

A few days ago, I came home to a really offensive display. My seven-year-old, Grayson, had thrown every single pillow on the floor. Additionally, the mess included a red straw, stuffed animals, and other random pieces of paper and trash. It was a huge mess, and Grayson was nowhere to be found. Thankfully I was in a good mood.

Making a conscious decision not to freak out, I threw away the trash, picked up the stuffed animals, and placed the pillows back on the couch. Again. Satisfied with the cleanliness of the living room, I began to make dinner.

Before I could boil water, Grayson skipped downstairs, dressed in her khaki zookeeper costume and looking like she had a purpose. “Where are my habitats?! My whole zoo is just gone!” She paced around the room, looking for the bits of paper and the straw, lifting up my carefully placed pillows to see if her treasures were underneath.

I asked her to explain the “mess” to me, and this is what I uncovered: each group of pillows was a separate habitat in a zoo. The straw was so the giraffe didn’t have to bend down as far to get a drink of water. The pieces of paper were food and trees. Grayson was in charge of it all and knew exactly where everything was supposed to go, so we worked together to rebuild her zoo.

What had looked like a mess to me was actually a well-thought-out plan. However, because I wasn’t the creator, I couldn’t see it for what it was. I was trying to interfere with someone else’s design instead of looking at it from the creator’s perspective.

Have you ever felt that way? Like what’s in front of you is a chaotic mess? Maybe your work life or relationships seem impossible to navigate. Maybe you’re struggling with an addiction or just having a terrible year. Whatever the mess may be, it is important to remember you only see a tiny bit of the picture. Our heavenly Father has a panoramic view when all we can see is the disaster in front of us.

As simple as the idea of trusting God’s plan seems, it’s incredibly hard to put into practice. Trusting God requires us to give up ownership of the details. We aren’t to worry or stress out, but to allow him to work through us to fulfill his purposes.

As someone who recently moved around the world, I can attest that this is easier said than done. I want to be in control of my situation and arrange my pillows in a way that makes sense to me. I don’t want to wait for God to show me what’s happening; I want to do it myself, but that isn’t what we’re called to do.

Romans 8:28 is a wonderful reminder to believers who struggle with the unknown. Paul writes “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV).

God is kind and merciful. He truly is working for our good all of the time. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, though, does it? Satan has a way of getting into our minds and allowing us to view our circumstances as tools that measure our “goodness” or God’s love for us. But that is a lie. God’s love and mercy cannot be measured; they are infinite and unfailing. Just because we can’t see his whole plan doesn’t mean it isn’t perfectly designed for us.

It’s important to remind you of two things: First, I didn’t understand Grayson’s plan until I asked and she explained it to me. Second, I didn’t get to know about it right away.

Many times, I have forgotten that I can ask God to reveal his plan to me. I can read his Word and pray and have a daily conversation that creates intimacy with him, which may reveal pieces of what he is doing in my life. While this doesn’t provide 100 percent clarity, it does make my heart more open to what he’s doing, even if I don’t understand it.

When I look back on my life, I can see his fingerprints all over it as his plan has come together. The people, places, and circumstances who have shaped me as a Christ-follower are evident now that I better understand the plan. Many of those relationships and events seemed like disasters and heartbreaks, but they were part of something bigger. God was in control, and I am thankful.

If your circumstances feel like my living room floor, scattered and messy, know that the One who loves you most—who formed you and sent his Son to die for you—is in control. You don’t have to have all of the answers or solutions. Isn’t that freeing?

Take hold of the freedom only he can provide. See past the mess and ask for his perspective. Maybe you’ll get to see the beauty he is creating for you.

Becky Yurisich is a full-time Army wife and mom, and an occasional teacher of first graders. She is an unapologetic follower of Jesus and the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. Becky holds a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education from UNC, and dreams of writing a book. She blogs at beckyyurisich.com.