Don’t Let Disappointment Win
Every two years, my husband has one of two conversations with me—either about the place we’re all moving to next or the location of his upcoming deployment. Not one to readily send my husband off to war, the deployment discussions aren’t my favorite pastime. Recently, though, we talked about our next move.
Contrary to widespread belief, we do have some say in duty stations. Last October we sat at our dining room table with thirty-nine potential assignment locations on sticky notes so we could rank them in order of our preference. I wanted to go to only two of them, and I was nearly certain we would be returning to one of them, but the Post-It notes, which had been splotched with red wine and stuck and re-stuck to the table, were finally in the order we thought was best. Joe took a photo of our final list and entered our rankings into the database used for assignment selection. Then we held our breath.
As Christmas drew near, word spread that the assignment list was coming out, so we would know our next duty station soon. Joe made an appointment to learn our next location, and he said he would text me a funny gif as a clue for where we were going next.
Instead of giving me a funny gif, my phone rang. It was my husband, and our conversation began with his saying, “Okay, so . . .” Our next duty station wasn’t one of our top two choices. It wasn’t even in our top ten. Our family has been placed solidly (as solidly as military orders can be) in South Korea—our twenty-fifth choice.
I hung up the phone and ugly-cried at the thought of moving to the other side of the world.
This isn’t just another move; this is the big one. The one that means our belongings will be shipped on a boat, that we’ll have to send our dog’s blood in the mail to be tested, that we’ll graduate our oldest daughter from high school and send her back to the States for college.
I’ve always believed God puts our family exactly where he wants us and that we’re always where we are because of his plan. But I wondered, what plan could come from choice number twenty-five? Couldn’t I do some kingdom work five hours from my parents’ house instead?
Life has a way of letting us down sometimes, doesn’t it? Being sad about our circumstances is part of being human. Disappointment and unmet expectations happen all the time. But in my disappointment, I remembered two things: God will never let me down, and sometimes disappointments bring surprises.
Trusting God has been paramount in my life as an army spouse. I have to trust him with my husband’s life and to take care of us if he doesn’t come home. I have to believe that he is near to each of us every time we move and our kids must start making friends from scratch. Certainly, if I trust him for those things, I can trust him when he moves us to a new place! He has always provided friends and churches and jobs. He never leaves us to fend for ourselves.
Disappointments are temporary, and usually, once you get over them, they’re for the good. Most of the time they bring something better than you hoped.
As we looked at our new post online, we saw beautiful beaches, national biking trails, ski parks, and lots of other travel and recreation opportunities. Our housing will be nearly new. Our kids will get to grow up with a perspective completely different from most of their peers. And just for me, Costco and IKEA are both within an hour’s drive.
Once I began to get my bearings and remembered who God is, my situation not only seemed brighter; it seemed exciting. Now when I tell people we’re moving to South Korea, I say it with a smile. When others feel sorry for me, I tell them about the places we plan to visit and the hopes we have for becoming part of the community. We believe God has a plan for our family, and his plans are never boring.
I don’t know what kind of surprise or disappointment you might be facing today. Chances are it’s different from our latest shocker. But may I encourage you? Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (NIV). No matter what you’re going through or where you’re going next, God goes before you. He goes before you into a divorce, an operating room, or a college dorm. He goes before you into a marriage, a new job, or a season of unemployment. And even though you might face the unexpected, he’s never surprised because he has walked ahead.
God gives us precious gifts in the unexpected and in the disappointments. Each gift is an opportunity to lean in and trust him to be exactly who he says he is. He promises to work all things together for the good of those who love him, and I believe that in my soul. No matter what disappointment you’re dealing with today, trust the Lord to work it for your good.
is a full-time Army wife and mom, and an occasional teacher of first graders. She is an unapologetic follower of Jesus and the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. Becky holds a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education from UNC, and dreams of writing a book. She blogs at beckyyurisich.com.
Photograph © Bundo Kim, used with permission
