Worthy of Your Trust

I live in a small town in Missouri with one gas station, no stoplights, and only three restaurants. So, when I recently got the chance to choose anywhere I wanted to eat in Houston, the fourth-largest city in the United States, I was pretty excited about my options. I headed straight for Chinese food.

It was so pleasant sitting there, enjoying the warm southern air with my noodles, sesame chicken, and, of course, a fortune cookie. After the meal I broke it open, smoothing the paper that read, “Be open to advice from those worthy of your trust.” That’s a good one. Because, while I don’t always take the words of a fortune cookie to heart, this one matched up with a concept God teaches. Yes, he is infinite, majestic, and sometimes beyond our comprehension. But, he is also practical. And, learning how to discern which voices we allow into our lives is one of those practical ways he guides us.

Advisors Can Steer Us Wrong

As an example of this type of discernment, we are going to head to a fairly obscure section of scripture. I don’t know how often you read 1 Chronicles, but it isn’t on my frequent list. But, every book of the Bible has its gems to mine and this was definitely one of them. After listing a bunch of long genealogies, it then gives way to some lesser-known stories about David. This one is so interesting:

“In the course of time, Nahash king of the Ammonites died, and his son succeeded him as king. David thought, ‘I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.’ So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father. When David’s envoys came to Hanun in the land of the Ammonites to express sympathy to him, the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun, ‘Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Haven’t his envoys come to you only to explore and spy out the country and overthrow it?’ So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved them, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away” (1 Chr. 19:1-4 NIV).

Goodness. I don’t pretend to know the intricacies of what it meant to manage national diplomacy in ancient Israel. But, from what we can tell, David saw the end of Nahash’s reign as an opportunity to extend kindness to Nahash’s grieving son, Hanun. But, when David’s guys arrived to offer their sympathies, Hanun’s commanders  got in his ear. Hanun not only listened to their counsel, but he also had David’s men captured, shamefully shaved, and sent away with their hineys showing. Quite an extreme reaction for a guy whose Dad evidently had a positive relationship with David. It seems Hanun listened to some unwise counsel.

In addition to the wild story above, below are a few other verses that offer wisdom about wise counsel:

• “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you” (Gal. 5:7-8 NIV).
• “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man” (Psalm 118:8 ESV).
• “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Prov. 12:15 ESV).
• “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Prov. 18:2 ESV).
• “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Prov. 11:14 ESV)
• “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Prov. 10:19 ESV).

How to Identify a Trusted Advisor

From the story and verses above, there are some lessons we can pull about who may or may not be a wise advisor. And, while there are always ways we can be duped, here are some traits to consider:

A wise advisor:

• Has a pattern of taking their time seeking wisdom in scripture, prayer, and from their own advisors rather than offering hot takes
• Offers advice that considers the whole counsel of scripture, rather than consistently singling verses out
• Listens more than they speak and offer words humbly, rather than for self-exaltation
• Does not operate in isolation, but rather has authentic relationships with others from whom he or she seeks advice
• Does not advise anything contrary to what the Bible teaches
• Encourages people to also seek answers on their own through prayer, scripture, and even other wise people
• Does not isolate or suggest he or she is the only source of accurate information
• Offers advice with factual and scriptural basis, not simply opinions
• Offers the type of counsel that builds faith, love, and trust in the Lord rather than increasing fear or dependence on the advisor.

This world is full of information, more than at any other time in history. With so many voices available to speak into our lives, it is important that we discern carefully those who would lead us down a path of life from those who would make us irrationally “cut off someone’s garment at the buttocks.” God gives us so many beautiful people to help guide us. May we use his words and standards to help figure out who they are.

Anne Rulo is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coach’s wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and are passionate about reaching people for Christ and sharing information on coaching, marriage, family, and mental health. Read more from Anne at www.annerulo.com.

Photograph © Joel Muniz, used with permission