Bearing Their Burdens

About five years ago, I had a miscarriage at eleven weeks of pregnancy. The whole ordeal was terrible. Even though I knew it was coming, I was totally unprepared for the actual experience. I was a complete mess. My husband took such good care of me and our kids during the actual miscarriage. Then, after the immediate crisis ended I needed to rest and have a little time alone to process what happened.

Not long after it was over, I talked to a soul-sister friend, who expressed sorrow for me and said she wished she was there to give me a hug and help. I responded that it was fine and that my husband was taking good care of me. At that moment, I did not realize she was expressing a desire for me to know how much she cared, that being present for me was important to her and that she was sad she couldn’t make that happen.

Fast forward a few years, and my friend has experienced a huge loss of her own. My loss and how that felt came back to me, as did her words at the time. It hit me hard how much I wished I could be there for her and that this feeling I experienced must have been something similar to her own for me. Her presence would have been her gift to me, as I wished mine could be for her.

Military life and lots of distance prevented my presence. My friend is hurting far away from where I am and I cannot do much about it, but what I want to do in some way is help bear her burden. Our burdens come in all shapes and sizes. They break our hearts and sometimes make us feel like we walk on sinking sand and we cannot pull ourselves back up. They make the next steps we have to take unbearable or cloud the path forward altogether.

My friend has so many people in her life who love her. In the immediate aftermath of her tragedy, she was able to be with family and friends who could hold her up to make it through that first part of the time when I imagine she felt like she was swimming through mud. She had wise people who could help bear her burden.

In the book of Numbers, chapter 11, Moses complains to the Lord about how the people have too much burden for him to carry. ‘The Lord said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you. I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.”’ (NIV)

In another story, in Exodus chapter 17, the Israelites fight the Amalekites after the Amalekites first attack them. Moses goes to the top of the hill to watch over the battle with the staff of God in his hands. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but when he was tired and lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. So Moses’ brother Aaron and his friend Hur, perched him on a rock and held up his hands for him until the battle was won. They bore his burden. They lifted his hands and helped the Lord use Moses to win the battle at hand.

The only way I could personally bear my friend’s burden seemed to be through prayer, so that’s what I did for her. In those first days, her sorrow felt palpable and constant, so I prayed as constantly as my daily life allowed. I continued praying as I heard new updates and requests. I prayed that the presence of the Lord would be palpable to her and that she would find rest and comfort in Jesus himself.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28-30 NIV)

Both my friend and I know that this tragedy is not the end and that the Lord will see her through it. He will give her the rest he promises in his Word. We may not know this side of heaven why it happened or why now, and time will likely soften those difficult questions. Healing will follow when we see how Jesus has been with us through other tough experiences, when we let ourselves feel his presence in all the hard moments and thin places, and when we seek him. The process may be painfully slow, but we can trust that Jesus works with our pain and our sadness.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecc. 3:11 NIV)

God makes everything beautiful. Everything. He will use every single thing that happens to us for his glory and our growth. He will use it to draw us to himself if we will let him and be open to his pursuit. I have learned to live in the hope and promise of heaven for the things I don’t understand in the here and now. While that hope sustains me in so many ways and gives me something to look forward to, I also know I need to be present in my daily life because Jesus calls me to love and share his love. He calls me to lift up the hands of my people when they cannot for themselves, through prayer and through action. My plan is to keep my eyes and heart open when I notice an opportunity to help bear the burdens of those I love and those God puts in my path. Who are you noticing that needs help bearing their burdens?  How can you help?

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.

Photograph © Jacob Townsend, used with permission