Journaling to Get Unstuck

As a starry-eyed newlywed, I envisioned life with little stress, exciting jobs, more than enough money, and easy-to-parent kids. But as the years have accumulated, my reality has felt different. Can you relate? Decisions feel heavy, work is sometimes whatever pays the bills, the bank account can feel stretched too thin, and parenting is just hard. I have felt stuck at times, wondering if we will ever outgrow hard parenting seasons or if our bank account will ever actually grow again. If I let my mind wander too much, all I see are obstacles and difficulties that make me feel STUCK.

Is your story similar? Maybe you’ve endured a job you hate. Or you’ve been handed a medical diagnosis that leaves you with too few options. Perhaps a once-treasured relationship has become difficult to navigate. Or your anxiety rises as the economy seemingly tanks. All of us have different circumstances, but that stuck feeling is doubtless familiar to us all.

We cannot always control events, but when we feel stuck, we can reach for hope.

One of my favorite tools for getting my head and heart unstuck—and pointed toward hope—is journaling. Some people prefer a morning pages routine where you write out your early morning thoughts until three pages or so are filled. Others love bullet-style journaling, which is a hybrid journal/to-do list. I prefer more structured and flexible techniques, like unsent letters and lists of 100 items. These kinds of prompts help me overcome the overwhelm of a blank page and jumbled thoughts. However you choose to journal, benefits abound, including reducing anxiety and depression, boosting your body’s immune system, and even improving memory.

Journaling gives us the chance to write our story, which allows us to name ideas, feelings, and events. If we do not process our lives, we may get stuck in unhelpful narratives about what we are experiencing. Some journaling invites us to record reality, while other kinds ask us to think creatively about daily life. One of my favorite journaling techniques involves shifting my perspective by changing the time or viewpoint from which I write. For example, what will I be telling myself about this season of life a year from now? Or, if my grandmother were here, what would she say about what I’m experiencing? These perspective-shifting entries help me lift my eyes out of the weeds and to the horizon and help me see an issue from the outside.

Some of the journaling techniques I use are highly visual, serving as cerebral and emotional maps to my mind and heart’s inner workings. I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I can’t understand what’s in my brain or heart until I see it on paper. These techniques help me see the map (however messy it may be) and make new connections between thoughts and feelings. Some of our most potent learning is when our brain makes a new connection or understands an old idea in a new way. Journaling can also be about engaging our imaginations. I’ve been empowered by journaling techniques that ask questions to help me imagine possibilities I haven’t yet met.

I hear two common pushbacks to establishing a regular journaling practice. First, I don’t have the time. I get it; life is busy, and trying to fit one more task into an already-booked schedule is daunting. But many of the techniques I teach are well suited for 5–10 minutes. For this reason, I keep my journal with me so that whether I’m waiting for an appointment or waiting in the afterschool car line, I can journal (instead of mindlessly scrolling on social media). I once heard someone refer to this as writing “in the cracks” of your day, and I’ve found it to be a practical, doable approach for many people.

The second pushback I hear is, I’m not a writer. I have good news! You don’t have to be a writer—at least not the kind your high school English teacher might have wanted you to be. How neat your handwriting is doesn’t matter. Grammar rules don’t exist. Making sense to anyone else is a non-issue because journaling is just for you. It can be a bit of a learning curve, but if you are willing to fire the English teacher critic in your brain, you can journal, have fun, and maybe even love it.

Author’s Note: Two years ago, I started to explore how I could help others find the gift of their own words. I began studying with the Therapeutic Writing Institute, learning how to make journaling something anyone can do. My favorite part is meeting others who are curious about journaling and enjoy dialoguing with others who share this curiosity. One way this happens is through a four-week class I teach called The Art of Journaling, during which I help people take a deep dive into the techniques I’ve shared in this article. I offer this class regularly throughout the year, and I would be delighted for you to join the next one!

Allison Byxbe is a writer, Ann Voskamp intern, editor, and journaling instructor from South Carolina. A lover of the beach, the stars, and the lattes her husband makes, her favorite things to write about are motherhood, special needs parenting, mental health, grief, and faith. You can connect with her over at Writing Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Facebook, and Instagram.

Photograph © Kelly Sikkema, used with permission