Gratitude and Attitude

Last fall, like many of you, I felt tired of the circumstances of the world. I was grumpy with my family, fed up with wearing a mask everywhere I went, wondering if life would ever return to any semblance of normal. My mood was not good and not pleasing to God.

One day, while complaining to my husband, I said. “I wish I could just get a break for a little while. I wish I could just lie around and rest for a few days.”

I am a homeschooling mom of four and wife to a pastor, and we have many people in our lives with needs. I really did need a time of rest, but the way I went about stating that need showed clearly my lack of gratitude for the life I get to live. My friend Ashley has a shirt that says “I get to do this.” I needed the reminder to have gratitude, and the reminder came in a difficult way.

Suddenly, after feeling fine all week, one Saturday morning I woke with extreme nausea, fatigue, and a terrible headache. This continued for three days, and of course, we began to suspect COVID. My mind was racing with worry that I might have unknowingly exposed my husband and children to the virus.

My doctor instructed me to get a COVID test. It was awkward and uncomfortable and made the whole situation feel even more real. Driving home, I cried, wondering how we would handle a positive result. I had been ungrateful, and I was getting the desire of my heart, to “lie around for a while.”

I used the time of waiting for the results to count my blessings in a new way. What if I did have COVID? We knew many who had it and were not doing well. What if my children got it, including my high-risk child? What about my sweet husband? What if he got it and had to be alone in the hospital? It was an eye-opening time of lying there. Just like I had wanted, but not really.

Whatever the reason I was sick—whether God was lovingly disciplining his child for her ungrateful attitude, whether it was just a normal virus due to an imperfect world, or whether it was grace from God coming in a way I wouldn’t choose—I had to decide how to handle it.

I chose to be thankful and attentive to whatever lesson God might have for me. I confessed I had been ungrateful and asked for forgiveness. I accepted that even though I didn’t want to feel this bad, I was, in fact, getting to lie around. Maybe it was God’s kindness to me, his knowing I would never take time to rest if I wasn’t sick and forced to do so.

Colossians 2:6-7 has some truth that applied to my situation:

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (ESV).

I had to continue to trust Jesus, believe his goodness and his work in my life, and have faith that no matter what, he was at work, and I could trust him. I needed to practice thankfulness.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:16-18 ESV)

I needed this heart change, and I spent the rest of the days of waiting and healing thanking God for my life. I gave thanks for my husband and children, I prayed for them all, and I gave thanks that I do “get to do this.” My heart healed along with my body.

The test results call finally came, and I did not have COVID-19. But I did realize it could have been different. I understood the fear and worry many others have experienced while waiting for test results. I learned again what it means to give thanks in all circumstances.

God in his wisdom teaches us to be thankful in everything. He knows that gratitude really does change our attitudes. If we are alive, we can find something to be thankful for. We can treasure the opportunity to simply live the life in front of us. After all, we get to do this!

Gina Grizzle is a wife, mama, and aspiring writer who has a passion to share her life with other women in order to encourage them to be the best they can for the kingdom. At home in East Tennessee, Gina loves to fluff her nest, squeeze her sweet kids, and read books. She blogs at ginagrizzle.blogspot.com.