Facing Your Critics
Everybody has critics. Even critics have critics! You will not be able to get through this life without being noticed by someone who disapproves of you. Initially, their disapproval will sting. But after a while, once God hardens you to life’s difficulties, their criticism will run off you like water off a duck’s back.
Critics are an integral part of our lives. You may not agree (or want to agree), but this is the truth. There are good critics and bad critics. Either group can provide you with insight into how you need to improve. Critics may also tell you how great you are, whether they do it nicely or unkindly. Either way, it’s OK. Criticism is a part of life. We fare better when we don’t take what is said negatively to heart. After all, what people say to or about you and how they say these things has more to do with them than with you. If God has called you to be in ministry or the public eye, then get used to it—the quicker the better. Being criticized will be your new normal. Everything you do and don’t do will be discussed and judged without your consent.
People who have critics:
- Oprah Winfrey
- Tyler Perry
- Beyoncé
- Steve Harvey
- Sarah J. Roberts
- Muhammad Ali
- Cicely Tyson
- Ebony Brooks
I definitely have critics—at work, outside of work, even among my family. Some of them I don’t even know. But I accepted their existence long ago.
Sometimes your critics will disguise themselves as lovers of your work, but you must discern who is really in your corner. For example, Paul had a fake supporter. She was a sorceress and was paid to attend all of his speaking engagements in a certain city. Paul’s critics paid her to watch his every move and report back to headquarters. She was the loudest person in Paul’s audience. After some time, Paul discerned that she was not genuine. Her words said one thing, but her spirit said something completely different:
Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a female slave who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling. She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved.” She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so annoyed that he turned around and said to the spirit, “In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!” At that moment the spirit left her. When her owners realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities. (Acts 16:16-20 NIV)
This is my advice to you: pay attention to what you sense from people and not necessarily what they tell you.
At times, it is hard to accept being followed, ridiculed, and criticized. Of course, no one signs up for the paparazzi to follow their every move, but this is part of being in the public eye (to a degree).
I’m a fan of Ayesha Curry. To me, she is a remarkable woman of God, gifted in cooking, and I love her cookware line! Recently, a blog was written by a restaurant worker who criticized Ayesha’s cooking abilities. Her husband, Stephen, was brought into the middle of this minor drama at a basketball conference. He is also in the public eye. When you are a public couple, this is the downside. Stephen Curry rightfully defended his wife, as well he should.
Ayesha Curry is a prime example of being a target for critics. I write her story to give you hope. We all have critics, even if we’re not famous. It’s inevitable. But we can survive and even thrive in spite of our critics.
Can I tell you something? There are haters and critics in your family. Can I tell you something else? Not all of your friends are true friends. They are bystanders, waiting for you to fail. Can I spill one more secret? You are most likely your own worse critic.
No one wants to have their dreams, visions, gifts, and talents criticized. Musicians, actors, and former presidents of the United States will all tell you there were pivotal moments in their careers. One of those pivotal moments were when they accepted that others would not always agree with everything they do, will do, or have done. They will also tell you that they survived their critics! Why? Because they faced their critics head-on.
There will come a point in your life where you will have to face your critics. You will have to overcome the words of those around you who hope to destroy your confidence. You will have to face-off with those who think they can do better than you (and maybe they can). . Everyone knows someone who can do what they are doing but better. I say this not to discourage you. My father always said to me, “Ebony, there will always be someone out there who is better than you. But you have to do what you are called to do.” He said this not to discourage me but to keep me uplifted and focused. My father did not want to raise children who would become jealous of others because they were better at something we loved. My father was a wise man, and he taught me well.
You are called to do what God has called you to do. This is your time to focus. Your job is to complete all of God’s assignments for you. Therefore, you must remain focused on whatever God has called you to do.
Know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Do not let your critics stop you.
is an author, writer, and businesswoman who was born and raised in Brooklyn, N.Y. and currently resides in North Carolina. She has written three books: Failing Forward into God’s Purpose, What’s Your Fish?: The Story of Jonah, and It Is Time. Her podcast “Let’s Talk: The Journey to Moving Forward” is in its third season and can be heard wherever podcasts are available. She encourages others in the Word of the Lord on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
Photograph © Clem Onojeghuo, used with permission
