How to Give Yourself Away

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil. 2:3-4 NIV)

“Can you help me buy some food?” The question from a stranger surprised me as I stood in the snack aisle of the grocery store.

Food insecurity is a growing problem as prices continue to rise. I think about it a lot as I shop for my own family. I consider what it must be like for single parents, minimum-wage-earners, and older adults on fixed incomes. In fact, I was thinking about it when the stranger asked me for help.

My weekly grocery trip puts me in contact with members of my community. I try to look for people who need help in the grocery store—for opportunities like helping someone with a physical disability load groceries into their car or reach for a product on the top shelf. Usually, I recognize the opportunity after the moment passes, and I emotionally kick myself for missing the chance to help a neighbor.

On this particular day, though, I was in the cracker aisle receiving a direct invitation to help a neighbor in need. I decided to jump right in. We headed to the checkout. I didn’t know how to do it graciously since she had more than food in her cart. I offered to buy food up to a certain amount. We scanned items, including food I wouldn’t have picked out if I were on a tight budget. She took her bagged groceries and walked off. She didn’t even turn around to say “Thank you.”

It didn’t go the way I imagined it. I didn’t get the warm fuzzies I expected.

It feels awkward to ask for help. In our “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” American culture, we applaud the self-made person and condemn those who struggle for not working hard enough. To have needs signifies weakness. It took bravery for the mom in the grocery store to ask for help.

Serving others requires paying attention to your environment, listening for clues, and looking for signs of a neighbor in need. It also requires letting go of the expectations of tangible blessings for reaching out to help a neighbor in need. Service doesn’t follow a script. Sometimes it is an awkward exchange between two people who are new to the stranger-neighbor relationship.

Each morning I pray, “Jesus, help me to give myself away to others, being kind to everyone I meet.” There are no conditions to that prayer. I am asking to give myself away, not trade good deeds for warm fuzzies. Even when it is uncomfortable, helping others is the cruciform way of life. We don’t bless others so we can be blessed. This scenario makes us the main objective. We serve others because we follow Jesus’s example: “He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant” (Phil. 2:7 NIV).

Father, give us eyes to see and ears to hear the needs around us. Help us to let go of our own need for accolades and gratitude, and instead, serve others with grateful hearts for the way you love and serve us. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:44-47 NIV)

Reach for More

The next time you are in the grocery store, pray, “Jesus, help me to give myself away to others, being kind to everyone I meet.” As you walk the aisles, consider the needs of your neighbors. Is there a need–physical or financial—you might be able to meet? Even the smallest act of kindness can be a gift to a neighbor in need.

Kelly Smith is a small town girl who married a small town man. They have three children. In the quiet minutes of her day, you will find her at the keyboard or curled up with a book–always with coffee. Kelly believes we are created for community and loves to find ways to connect with other women who are walking in the shadow of the cross. She blogs at mrsdisciple.com.