5 Truths to Remember about the “Balanced” Life
The other day, I received a call from a friend. She was in tears, overwhelmed with her to-do list—not just work stress, but also a kiddo struggling with mean girls, an aging mom needing rides to the doctor’s office, and a looming deadline for her writing.
Worse, she felt guilty because she couldn’t figure out how to balance it all.
“I feel like I broke the scale, and it collapsed on top of me,” she said.
I laughed, not because she was being ridiculous, but because I’d said the same thing to her just a week before. I’m a book editor, mom of teens, and novelist. Things get a little hectic sometimes—especially when you’re getting ready to release a book like I am.
Although your to-do list might look different, I’m betting you know how my friend and I feel.
As women, we tend to be buried under the weight of all the things, wondering who hid the promised abundant life as we pursue the elusive work-family-life balance. We feel like we need to do it all well, if not perfectly.
The good news is that God has given us the truths we need to climb out from under the guilt and frustration:
1. Balance is a myth.
The Bible never says we’ll have a well-balanced life, blocked out in easy-to-tackle bites. God gives us a mission to accomplish, and that mission changes. The lines aren’t straight.
But this is good news, because we get to do what’s most important today and let other things go.
When you have small kids, maybe you don’t volunteer as much at church. If you’re carting busy teens to sports and piano and youth group, maybe you find a job with a little less responsibility or you invest in premade meals. And you know I spend my time in the car listening to good books.
Ultimately, God asks us to do three things: Pause. Breathe. Listen.
Scripture says, “Be still and know” that he’s got it. He knows what he wants you to do, and he’ll let you in on the secret if you ask and listen.
It’s OK to tell folks you need to think about something, then take time to listen to your body and soul. Stop doing the things that chafe at your soul. The only thing that does is form a callus. Scripture’s pretty clear that a callused (or hard) heart is the last thing God wants.
2. You can’t buy love.
Heaven knows this people-pleasing girl struggles with the idea that you can’t earn God’s approval. Not only do I feel like I should do all the things, I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I don’t. But Scripture is pretty clear: God loves us regardless of what we’ve done or will do. He does not stand at the door of our home or church with a checklist, and he doesn’t cross us off the “good and faithful servant” list if we don’t do all the things.
For the record, if you’re worried about holding it all together, God doesn’t say, “Stupid woman. Stop worrying.” He says, “Sweetheart, please trust me. I’ve got you and your loved ones. I won’t let you drop for all eternity.”
You’re loved—mess and all.
3. We’re commanded to have fun.
Yes. You read that right. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice!” then reiterates it: “Again I say, rejoice.”
We’re told to dance, play music, and celebrate good things. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like fun—and also like something I haven’t done recently.
When was the last time you played?
There’s a powerful practice called the Prayer of Examen that’s helpful when you want to readjust your life and make time for fun. The good news is that it’s easy.
You look back over the day and ask what gave you energy, what drained your energy, what you’re thankful for, and if God has been asking you to do something. It’s a great way to see patterns—both good and bad—and to see how God is asking us to move. It also gives us staid adults a chance to dream.
Of course, you still need to change the dirty diaper, but maybe you can turn on jamming music while you do it.
4. Life isn’t easy, but it is good.
We’re promised that life will be difficult, but we’re also told that we don’t have to walk alone and that God is always working for our good. So when you business deal is rejected, your kid ends up in the hospital again, or you’re not sure how you’re going to listen to someone take credit for your work (all of which I experienced in a single three-month period), take heart; God’s got you.
Holler at God if you need to. He knows how you feel already.
In fact, God blessed Jacob because he struggled with him (Gen. 32:22–32). It’s OK to be afraid, to not know which way to turn. Go to God with your concerns. He is all-powerful, but he hands out time and energy in daily rations. That means every day has a different agenda and a different level of needs.
I often don’t sleep well at night. I actually have gone through entire years without a full night’s sleep. I prayed for the energy for what I needed to do that day, and God never failed. But it also means not everything got done. I only accomplished the necessary things. I won’t lie; my toilets were kinda nasty during that time, but no one caught a disease, and I’m OK with that. Instead I spent time outside with my kids, playing and counting our blessings.
5. You are not disposable.
Let’s summarize this a bit. God created you for a specific purpose. You are, in fact, his beautiful masterpiece. Let that sink in for a second. You are his Mona Lisa. God loves you beyond measure because of both your quirks and your talents.
When was the last time someone used the Mona Lisa for a napkin and then chucked it in the trash?
Why would you allow others to use you in a way you weren’t meant to be used and then drop you in the proverbial trash when you’re no longer useful?
Do what God made you to do instead! Let everything else drop.
My friend, God made us for good things. Forget about balance. Pick up the comparison scale and chuck it out the window. Then, don’t let anyone make you stand back up and try to do all the things perfectly all the time. It’s not what God wants for you.
is a book editor by day and writer of historical novels with a healthy dose of lyrical intrigue at night. She’s the author of Shadows in the Mind’s Eye and co-author of both O Little Town and It’s a Wonderful Christmas. And that all happens from her kitchen table when she’s not hanging out with her family, two troublesome cats, and slightly eccentric Shetland Sheepdog. You can grab a free copy of her novella Wide Open on her website: janyretromp.com.
Photograph © Himanshu Pandey, used with permission
