The Fruit of Self-Control
Many of us who grew up in faith-based settings can recite the nine fruits of the spirit. We have heard many sermons on them, in sum and individually. For those of you who are newer to the faith or still exploring, here’s the direct quote from Galatians: “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law” (Gal. 5:22-23 ESV).
I recently listened to a sermon wherein the speaker noted that he rarely heard a sermon on self-control when he was growing up. When I consider the full list of fruits, the majority of the unchurched world would agree with most of them. Most people agree that love and joy and peace are good things. Kindness is emphasized and taught in public schools. However, while many might agree that self-control is a positive personality trait, it’s the one that most seems to go against the grain of culture.
The Culture of Self-Satisfaction
Our current culture emphasizes the valuing of self. Some of this aligns with biblical principles, and some does not. Our culture encourages us to live our truth, and often that’s a good thing. But we also receive messages to do whatever we want despite the needs and feelings of others. These are often contrary to the message of Christ, which asks us to submit to his will. We encounter these messages in the changes and challenges of our current workforce environment. Many in the US workforce do not want to work traditional jobs. Traditional businesses are challenged to find reliable employees willing to work hard and be paid accordingly.
Self-satisfaction is a strong cultural value, but it’s not one we’ll find in Scripture. If we allow ourselves to be sucked into culture, we may come to idolize ourselves above our loved ones, above Jesus, and above other people in general. While there are certainly times and situations when followers of Christ should set boundaries with others, the message of Christ is to love God and love others as ourselves.
The Definition of Self-Control
Self-control, as defined by Merriam Webster, is restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires. Some of us deny ourselves regularly based on our personalities— those we refer to as “people-pleasers.” I believe God calls all of us to love and value ourselves while also considering the needs and value of others. It can be a tricky needle to thread.
Areas of Self-Control
There are quite a few areas to consider in regard to self-control. Let’s explore a few of them.
- Time: How do we spend our time? Are we intentional? How many hours a day do we spend scrolling on our phones versus making a plan for our day and infusing God’s truth in?
- Emotions: Do we control our own emotions, or do they control us? At times, the answer for me is both. My emotions are typically pretty even, but I have a daughter who is quite the opposite, and it has been a challenge to encourage her to rely on the Holy Spirit when her emotions get the best of her.
- Thoughts: We can sometimes lose focus on how critical our thought life is. Most of us spend more time with our own thoughts than we do with other people. Are we taking control of our thoughts and ensuring they are grounded in truth? Or are we allowing our thoughts to run wild, judging others and focusing on our own selfish desires?
- Actions: Are we acting in ways that encourage, love, and build up others? Or are we acting unkindly and taking steps to further our own desires?
- Words: Are the words we speak reflective of the fruits of the spirit? Are we respectful and generous and helpful? Or do we tear others down and spread rumors and gossip? D
o we raise our voices easily, or are we calm and measured in our speech?
Practicing Self-Control
When my kids were younger, we would select a fruit of the spirit on which to focus each week. We’d pray that fruit would be prominent in our lives. I would ask them something they did each day that demonstrated that fruit. We’d discuss what it meant and what it looked like.
I haven’t done that exercise in a while, but I wonder if it’s worth a visit, whether you have children in your home or not. Exercising self-control (as well as the other fruits) requires focus and intention. We are likely not going to improve in this area without prayer and practice.
I believe all nine fruits of the spirit are valuable and important to embody, but I wonder if the fruit of self-control falls to the wayside. I hope you’ll join me in some intentional thought, focus, prayer, and reliance on the spirit around what changes might be needed in our lives to improve in the area of self-control.
is a Jesus follower, wife, mom of three, finance director, and lover of sarcasm and deep conversations with friends. She also loves camping, rafting, skiing, sewing, and hosting others in her home.
Photograph © Jamie Street, used with permission
