How to Be Full Rather Than Busy

When I ask someone how they’re doing, I can predict their answer.

With almost exasperated pride, they invariably respond:

“Busy!”

It’s the answer I’m inclined to give myself, because what’s the alternative?

I wonder what has made us so comfortable with a hurried life. What has made us believe that anything other than racing out the door and running from place to place with a cacophony of notifications spurring us on means we’re leading lazy, uninteresting lives and we are missing out on something big. The joke is on all of us who’ve bought into this way of living. We are missing out on something huge, but we’ll never find it by packing our iCalendars so full there’s barely time left to sleep.

What we’ve lost in the busyness is peace. We’re so far gone that we don’t even remember what peace feels like anymore, and frankly, it feels a little uncomfortable to sit quietly to seek it out.

We have responsibilities and commitments that require our time, so we don’t have the option to just check out and put our feet up all day. But rest is good because the effort it takes to be a grownup is wearying. The struggle is real. Darned if the family doesn’t want to eat every single day and wear clean clothes, and then there’s the fact that simply living costs money.

We are here to learn and work and contribute to the lives of our family, friends, community, and church. All of this is biblical, but without intentionally pausing for a refill, we will pour out so much that we’ll find ourselves emptied dry. That elusive place of balance is what most of us long for, and yet we’re often running too fast through our days to even consider how we might get there.

It took concerted effort at first to steel myself against the pressure to rush through my days. But it turns out there really was room on my bursting calendar for scheduled quiet time. Unlike many of the commitments I’ve kept in the past, this is one gathering I have never regretted attending. When I started to make a conscious effort to sit quietly alone and listen for God’s voice, it felt uncomfortable. I felt like I should be up and moving. But I made myself sit there, sometimes in silence, sometimes with worship music filling the room. I journaled, read my Bible, and listened.

At first, it was awkward crickets. But in time, I started to hear His voice again. I realized how much I’d missed it. I realized I simply can’t hear when my life is bustling with the white noise of busyness at every turn. I realized how good it feels to hear God talking to me, encouraging me, quieting me. It is so good to remember what I want my life to be about. To reflect the glory and goodness of my very good God.

Now, I create margin in my life for these times of quiet to happen every day. As a result, my heart is at peace even on the unavoidably full days. Sometimes the timing of these get-togethers with the Lord shift, and some quiet times are longer than others, but they are now part of my daily life. I also reined in my calendar a good bit. I don’t over-schedule myself or my kids anymore. We all have time for spontaneous games and laughter and unhurried living. And though I often say no to yet another “You don’t want to miss this!” gathering or committee, I say yes more often to meaningful coffee dates, hikes, and lunches with friends where I know real connection will happen.

I’ve learned that peace really is a worthy pursuit. I have to be intentional in choosing how I’m going to fill the days given to me. There just aren’t that many, after all. This life is brief, and I want to be sure I’m savoring the present moment rather than rushing off to the next thing. And although my calendar isn’t nearly as full as it used to be, I’m not missing a thing. In fact my life is fuller than it ever has been. So if you bump into me at Target and ask how my life is, my answer will be, “Full” rather than “Busy.” Full of rest and peace, and yes, even carpools, deadlines, and meal planning.

Melinda Mattson will follow any sign that leads to the promise of vintage décor and repurposed treasures. As a wife and mom to two dear daughters, her home is filled with equal measures of sugar and spice. She loves kindness and Jesus and is glad they’re meant to come as a package deal. She aims to embrace both with equal fervor. Melinda blogs at www.melindamattson.com.

Photograph used with permission from, and copyright of, Michelle Lenger.