Why Avoiding Selective Morality Matters

Our boys are twenty months apart in age, and when they were young, we lived in a small town that required us to drive about twenty-five minutes each way to the grocery store. Once, after this half-day event, I was loading groceries and kids into our car on the cusp of meltdowns into our car when I realized that the batteries I desperately needed were in the cart but had not been rung up.

Ugh! I had several choices at that moment. I could take the batteries; I could leave them behind in the cart; or I could load the boys back into the cart, go back inside, and pay for the batteries. I sighed, finished unloading the groceries, unbuckled the boys, put them back in the cart, and walked back into the store with two screaming toddlers. Thankfully, a greeter met me at the door. I handed over the batteries, explaining that I hadn’t paid for them.

I paid dearly for that choice during the lengthy ride home, but in the long run, I established a habit that began in that moment. Even when it’s difficult, I want my words and actions to align with my beliefs and values.

We see throughout Scripture that the decisions of the people of the Old and New Testaments impact not just their lives but the lives of those around them. For example, Ruth’s choice to leave Moab and accompany her mother-in-law home established a new and better future for them both through her marriage to Boaz. Aaron’s choice in Exodus 32-33 to please the disobedient Israelites by molding a golden calf for them to worship angered God and brought a plague upon the people. In this case, Aaron’s selective morality enabled Israel to disobey God.

Selective morality is defined as choosing to uphold certain moral values according to the demands of a social situation. It’s a human flaw we’re all instinctually capable of leaning into, but Scripture repeatedly shows us the folly of this choice.

Moses chose to prioritize keeping his worship focused on God. Moses interceded on behalf of Israel after their worship of the golden calf. He asked God to continue with the people to the promised land rather than sending them on alone. This request prompted the following interaction between God and Moses in Exodus 33:12-17, which says,

One day Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Take these people up to the Promised Land.’ But you haven’t told me whom you will send with me. You have told me, ‘I know you by name, and I look favorably on you.’ If it is true that you look favorably on me, let me know your ways so I may understand you more fully and continue to enjoy your favor. And remember that this nation is your very own people.”

The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.”

Then Moses said, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place. How will anyone know that you look favorably on me—on me and on your people—if you don’t go with us? For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth.”

The Lord replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” (NLT)

The Israelites continued toward the promised land with God because he “looked favorably on Moses and knew him by name.”

Moses’s consistent worship of God and constant calls for the nation to do likewise didn’t prevent them from wavering in their faith when the ten spies reported that danger waited for the nation in the promised land. Joshua and Caleb’s call to trust God wasn’t enough. The belief in ten leaders’ words led to consequences for an entire nation for forty years. (see Numbers 13-14)

Numbers 14:29-30 says,

“Your corpses will fall in this wilderness—all of you who were registered in the census, the entire number of you twenty years old or more—because you have complained about me. I swear that none of you will enter the land I promised to settle you in, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.” (CSB)

In the book of Esther, Israel is greatly impacted by the choices of a few leaders. In Esther 3, Haman manipulates the king to write a decree to destroy all Jews because of his disdain for Mordecai, Esther’s uncle. Haman has no concern for the genocide he requests because of his vendetta. Women and children will be murdered because of his selective morality. Esther puts the nation of Israel first, and her husband, the king, issues a new decree allowing the Jews to defend themselves.

We will always face the tension of bad, better, and best choices on earth.

One study on selective morality identifies another common choice humans make. Professor Jordi Quoidbach explains, “Because people tend to mentally activate concepts in situations they’ll prove useful, the importance they afford moral values may vary according to whom they are with at the moment.”

Quoidbach continues, “Binding values help regulate communal behavior, so people may give these values more importance when they’re in the presence of close—versus distant—others. The mere presence of others can affect moral thinking.”

Binding values, the opposite of selective morality, and proximity to people help regulate our behavior and impact our moral choices.

It seems to me that the way to avoid selective morality aligns with what Jesus says in Matthew 22:37-40:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” (CSB)

There are many positives about avoiding selective morality. One example is the life of Joshua. As the leader who succeeded Moses and led the Israelites into the promised land, he spent years learning from Moses, watching as he responded to God. Joshua saw the errors and the successes up close and learned from them. He is described in the Bible as an amazing leader.

Our own words and actions have the potential to impact generations. Let’s strive to align with Jesus’s call in Matthew 22 to love our neighbors without engaging in selective morality, even when it’s difficult. Our decision to do so will impact the future, whether we personally see the ripple effects or not.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Sixteen Miles Out, used with permission