Remember How God Dealt with You
The title of this post comes from the May 6 entry of Oswald Chambers’ devotional My Utmost for His Highest. These poignant words caused me to remember how gently and tenderly God dealt with me when I previously walked away from him. God drew me back into his fold with a perfectly timed invitation to my sister’s church, where music played that spoke to my soul. He gave me the courage to pursue him, even though it meant letting go of some people who were important to me and leaving the home state of my youth. He kept waiting on me as I clumsily attempted to find him amidst many poor decisions.
If you ask me, the goodness and kindness of God cannot be outdone and my life is proof.
Once I finally realized that I didn’t need to look for love outside of God, he really showed himself. Not only did he wait on me through that whole messy process of coming to understand that he loves me more than I can imagine, but Jesus was with me through it all and the Holy Spirit helped me appreciate all the growth, beauty, and challenges ahead of me. Eventually, I arrived at a place that felt a whole lot like a mountain top, but Jesus doesn’t bow out when you are on top of a mountain. He sticks around for the trip back to the valley, which will certainly come.
We do not walk alone. This is one of the gifts of God. We may experience hard things. We may lose things precious to us. We may feel like we cannot, for the life of us, see what God wants from us or have any idea what our next steps should be. Yet if Jesus could make it to the cross, all the while knowing that his next steps included suffering and grief, I have hope that I can do it, too.
Jesus knew that God would forsake him. He knew that he would bear the weight of our sin alone. Still, he went to the cross. He could have turned back any time. However, that cup was his to drink. Thankfully, I do not have to drink such a cup of suffering because Jesus drank it for me.
Life remains filled with ups and downs, hard times and glorious moments. I recognize how he brought me through so many. He moved with me when I went away to college and became an adult, having to accept the consequences of my choices and figure out how to navigate finances, campus life, and nursing school. I didn’t know him intimately during that time, but I can only credit my survival to him. He was with me when he brought my boyfriend, now my husband, back into my life fourteen months after a break-up. The Holy Spirit gave me the courage to talk about who God is and why I needed to center my life around him, and my husband accepted that invitation, too.
The Lord has been with me and my family through every military move, and with each move, the making of new friends. He has taken us safely from one place to another and helped us enjoy the beauty of his creation in each new place. While making new friends is never a perfect or easy process, I am fairly certain I am better at it now than when I was younger. He is a God who gently grows us into people who look at others and see the image of Christ in them because we are all made in his image, even those who don’t acknowledge God as God. He helps me be able to love each person he brings into my life, no matter what kind of friendship results.
Finding a new church with this last move has been challenging, but the Lord has been with us for that as well, steering us away from a church we initially thought would be a good fit and toward one where the pastors are humble and grace abounds. It is a place where I would invite anyone to join me, no matter what their circumstances, choices, or background. This feels like such a kindness because the world is a hard place, but it reminds me that God really seeks each person so that they can know, love, and serve him through the saving power of Christ.
Fraught with messiness and challenges, this life could undeniably bring us to our knees. Coming to believe that my knees are the right place to be is likely what has changed my perspective about being down there. We were never meant to walk alone. The posture of prayer on my knees reminds me of this more than anything else. Talking to the Lord about all the things allows me to have the faith the book of Hebrews describes: confidence in what I hope for and assurance about what I do not see (Heb. 11:1). Prayer provides opportunities to remember once again how he dealt with me, with so much love that he gave his only Son in my place.
Being on my knees also provides me with the opportunity to remember how the Lord continues to deal with me, with attention to the details that shape my life, my days, and even my moments. He has shown up with every change, with every hardship, and in every heavenly turn of events. He surprises me with beauty I don’t expect, with courage when I feel like I don’t have any, and with the resilience to trust him and turn back to him, again and again, to make all things new.
The Lord helps me remember how he dealt with me through people, through circumstances in my life, both beautiful and hard, through prayer, through books, devotionals, and His Word, and through the very act of Jesus on the cross.
Maybe it’s time to take a stroll down memory lane and examine the past up to this present moment. How has the Lord dealt with you? Spend a few minutes or more looking for all the grace, and I know you will find it.
enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.
Photograph © Camille Villanueva, used with permission
