the center yellow stripes in a paved road leading to a scenic view
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Walk Your Own Path

A pitcher of milk and a jar of honey

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Eph. 4:1-3 NIV)

Stay in your lane. Walk your own path. Sail your own ship. You do you. Worry about yourself. You can let me be the parent.

These are the phrases I say to two of my sons on a regular basis. They are constantly telling me about what the other is doing and how he is doing it differently (and therefore incorrectly, of course).They also repeatedly try to tell each other what to do. I try to consistently respond that they need to do what they are supposed to do for themselves. They need not worry about their brother and how he is conducting himself. If they are doing the right thing for themselves, then there will not be any trouble for them.

When they involve themselves where they shouldn’t, they end up in trouble because of fighting or unkindness creeping into those times. As an adult, I don’t usually get into physical altercations or even word wars with people in my circle. However, I cannot say that I don’t look around and compare myself to the ladies and moms in my line of vision. Sometimes I end up feeling like I am not good enough or not doing all I should to live my best life or help my family to do so. Unkindness, jealousy, or negative thoughts about other people can creep in, which have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the state of my own heart and where my attention is focused.

While the troubles I experience have nothing to do with breaking actual laws, I believe I break the commands of Jesus when I step out of my lane by comparing myself to others and allowing those comparisons to rob me of joy. I break the commands of Jesus when my jealousy overrides my ability to be happy for someone else’s success. Generally speaking, I am not so bold as to tell other people how to live their lives, unless they ask for my advice. I have become better at keeping my unsolicited opinions to myself, but even the idea that I might be able to do things better than others or that I might know something they don’t tells me I have some work to do on that “plank in my own eye” that Jesus mentioned.

I don’t like admitting that this happens to me. It’s embarrassing, but at the same time, it’s also freeing. If I can admit that my focus is not where it should be, then, theoretically, I can refocus on the right things. Focusing both on the Lord and on my own personal growth into the person I believe he wants me to be keeps me sailing my own ship. Doing my own work puts me on the path of righteousness and freedom, living a life worthy of the calling of God. Jesus introduced himself to people and told them who he was, but he didn’t repeatedly and annoyingly insert himself into their spaces to tell them what to do.

the center yellow stripes in a paved road leading to a scenic view

Watching my boys and their antics, I am reminded that when we get tied up in what others are doing, we slow down our own growth process. When they check off the tasks on their own lists, rather than worrying about what their brother is doing, they are focusing their growth in the right place. Our own hearts, decisions, and actions are the only things we truly have control over.

Choosing to follow Jesus definitely means assisting others when circumstances allow or when the door is obviously open to us. Being helpful versus being pushy or abrasive are two different things, though, and we have to watch out not to cross into the latter. Keeping my focus on Christ and loving like him in his unobtrusive way is the best way I have found to walk your own path and serve others when the Lord makes it clear that you should.

Lord, mark our own lanes clearly for us, keeping us out of other people’s business so that we can chase after you instead. Help us put a stop to habits like comparing ourselves to others or being jealous that others are living a different story than our own. Help us remember to keep our focus on you alone, which will allow us to see others through your eyes. Amen.

 Scripture for Reflection

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel.” (Phil. 1:27 NIV)

“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way:  bearing fruit in every good work, growing the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” (Col. 1:9-12 NIV, emphasis mine)

Reach for More

 How can you walk your own path, chasing after Jesus in a way that makes you worthy of his calling?  This is such a tall order!  Also, maybe it feels like a contradiction?  We are already worthy of salvation, and Jesus offers it to us freely. After we have accepted this gift, we move into “working out our salvation.” We are “prisoners for the Lord,” and we move forward knowing that the idea is to live a life our Lord and Savior will look upon with satisfaction or, better yet, delight. Evaluating our lives to see if we are living into our calling as children of God can be a slow, painful process. We might need time to assess what stays and what goes. Begin with the things that make you feel anxious, unsettled, overstimulated (in your brain or heart), or just joyless. Do they need to stay or go? Should you leave that time open for the Lord, or is there something else that you feel the Lord calling you to do? So many questions! But when we take time to answer them, the joy and peace of the Lord will follow us into our daily lives.

Carla Clemens, Contributor to The Glorious Table enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.

Photograph © Justin Lawrence, used with permission

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