Three Key Habits of Heart Happy Women
Are you happy?
I would have cringed if you had asked me that five years ago. Not. Even. Close. I was utterly overwhelmed after my husband and I adopted seven children—some who’d faced past trauma. The kids’ attitudes were messy, the house was messy, and my heart was messy. As time passed, trauma therapy helped with the emotions, and a chore chart assisted with the clutter, piles, and grime. Yet the most changes happened when I started looking deeper into my heart.
First, I realized that God longs for our hearts to be happy in Him, even if we aren’t in the best circumstances.
Second, heart happiness is rooted in understanding God’s love and embracing it daily. It’s not about what we accumulate externally but rather what is stored internally—God’s love. His love is always available. Yet, we have to pause our busy lives long enough to seek it.
Third, heart happiness is possible, even here, even now. Staying centered in God’s love through chaotic circumstances is key to everything. If I’ve learned to cultivate a happy heart during storms and squalls, heartaches and hardships you can too.
These are beautiful concepts, yet how do we turn them into habits? Here’s how:
Three Key Habits
Happy women fill their lives with Jesus instead of things.
You can search for happiness in only two places. Either you seek abundant life through Jesus or attempt to fill your life with things, searching for happiness. And only one of these ways works.
Nothing in this physical world can give you the happiness you’re looking for. Heart-satisfying life can only be found in Jesus. He alone can bring your heart deep joy, contentment, peace, and happiness. So first, we need to stop trying to fill our lives with stuff. Then we need to fill the hole with Jesus instead.
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world,” wrote C.S. Lewis.
How do you fill your life with Jesus? It’s easier than you think. I started the habit years ago of waking up before everyone else to read my Bible, meditate on God’s Word, and pray. Doing this changed my heart and helped me focus my priorities on the right things.
What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow and spent five minutes opening God’s Word and seeking whatever good news and blessing God had for your heart? How would things change? Please do it. Start it. It’s one of the best habits you can develop.
Happy women walk God’s path instead of forging their own.
Jesus welcomes you to surrender all your hopes and dreams to Him. This may seem like you’re losing something until you realize it was God who put those dreams into your heart in the first place. Jesus doesn’t want to crush your dreams. Instead, He wants to fulfill them in ways you’ve never imagined.
What would it look like if you paused at this moment and surrendered your way to God’s way? What worries and burdens would lift from your shoulders. How would things change?
Every night before I go to sleep, I think through the next day. I ask God to show me what things to say yes to. I ask Him to show me what things to say no to. I pray and ask myself what activities to cut out of my life because it’s just not the right season—being still before God is a great habit to start. God will guide your days if you pause and let Him.
Happy women believe “heart happy” is possible, even today.
Happiness isn’t exclusive to family vacations, new cars, or seeing a dream fulfilled. Heart happiness is rooted in understanding God’s love and embracing it daily. It’s pausing to consider Jesus and His indescribable love for you. It’s understanding that you can’t do one good thing in the day to make Jesus love you more. Instead, it’s opening your heart to His love.
One of my favorite Scripture stories is the one where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well. This woman previously had five different husbands, and she wasn’t married to the one she was currently living with. She was gathering water. Nothing she was doing made her worthy of Jesus’ love, yet He gave it all the same.
“If you only knew the gift God has for you…” (John 4:10), Jesus told her. That gift was Himself. That gift was His unconditional love. Out of all the things I can choose to do in a day, nothing will fill me with more happiness than accepting the love of Jesus.
Everything changes when I walk through my day to understand how completely loved I am. How I approach my day changes, and how I love others changes, too—the external stems from the internal. My outward actions toward my family flow from the wellspring of happiness found from God’s love welling up within me.
What would it be like if this moment you paused and imagined looking into Jesus’ face and accepting the love there? “If you only knew the gift God has for you…” Happy women don’t make excuses for why you’re not lovable. Instead, they accept the love that’s already given.
One final habit I recommend is connecting with Jesus throughout the day. For me, this includes setting aside my phone and turning off the television to listen to worship music instead. It’s listening to a few chapters on my Bible app instead of that podcast I love. It’s realizing that I can find ways to connect my heart with God each day, knowing it changes everything.
After developing these habits, I’m a much happier woman, especially a happier mom. Of course, I still have clutter, piles of laundry, and busy kids, but I’m learning how to make my heart happy in the Lord. It’s incredible how this inward change truly changes everything.
Want to learn more about soul care and having a Happy Heart? Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love through Chaotic Circumstances will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Peace and joy can be yours—no matter what life dishes up.
is a wife, homeschooling mom, speaker, podcast host, and USA Today bestselling author of over 80 books. Tricia writes in numerous genres including fiction, parenting, marriage, and books for children and teens. She loves to mentor writers through WriteThatBook.Club. Married to John and mom of ten children, Tricia truly believes teaching and guiding her children daily is her greatest work. Tricia lives near Little Rock, Arkansas and you can discover more about her at TriciaGoyer.com.
Photograph © Disruptivo, used with permission
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