Three Steps to Surrender

Among Christians, there’s always a lot of talk about God’s will and God’s path for us. If we, as Christians, can figure it out and follow along willingly, we believe life will be more joyous. It doesn’t mean life will be without hardship and heartbreak, just more hopeful and manageable.

I didn’t grow up with faith, so I never tried to live any way other way than my own. Then, one singular event in my mid-twenties forced me to acknowledge the first step. It was in my pursuit of making sense of that hardship that I stumbled my way through three simple steps to surrendering to God’s way. Once I had walked through them and was on the other side, I could say without hesitation that life is much better when you’re a willing participant in God’s plan, instead of constantly pushing back or sidestepping the path in favor of your own detours.

I have identified these three steps that helped me in hope that they can help others.

Step 1: Accept That There’s No Such Thing as Control

One of the hardest things for people in the process of surrendering to God’s will for their lives is having to accept that there’s no such thing as being in control. Imagine that you are in your car, in the driver’s seat. As you drive along, you don’t have access to a GPS or directions, and you can only see what’s around you. You’ve always been directionally challenged. Would you hold on tighter to that steering wheel and double down on your random guess at which way is the best route? Or, would you be open to asking the guy in the passenger seat to guide you since he is looking at the map?

Most people tend to choose the first option. Whether it’s because they don’t know God is there, don’t trust that he can read the map as well as they would, or they just can’t imagine not having complete control over the car, people typically double down on their blind decisions and course corrections. Yes, you can control the conditions inside the car, adjust the temperature, change the radio station, slam on the brakes, or put the pedal to the metal. But the conditions of the road are not under your control. From potholes to downed trees blocking your way to how straight or curvy the path is, all of it is outside of your control.

If you don’t know or trust the One who is in control, driving can be overwhelming. That’s why taking the next step is so important.

Step 2: Review Your Story

Now that you’ve accepted that you are not in control, the second step is to revisit your story. Most of us never take the time to reflect on the past (which is completely different from simply dwelling on the past or living there in your mind), As a coach’s wife who has had to start over in a new place multiple times, I’ve been forced to live in the “in-between” for months at a time. That has allowed me to look back, see what I did wrong and what I did right, and find God’s hand in the details.

Reviewing my story with hindsight has given me the chance to process the past and organize it in a way that makes sense. I’ve been able to identify many times where I thought I knew what was best only to experience things going in the opposite direction. The result was always better than I could have hoped. I’ve also been able to see where one hardship was preparing and strengthening me for an even larger one. Most importantly, now that I’m on the other side, I’ve been able to see how God prepared a better way. Our faith isn’t based on what God can do for us, but it grows stronger if we identify what he’s already done for us.

Step 3: Move Forward with Trust

Now that you’ve accepted that you’re not in control and you’ve reviewed your story to find God’s hand in the details, the third step is simply to trust. The truth is, God doesn’t owe us an explanation every time he does something we don’t understand. If you sit around waiting for one, you may be waiting for a long time. But if you spend time with God daily, whether that’s in his Word, in community with other believers, or talking to him in prayer, you will get to know who he is. He is a good Father who wants what is best for you. That should make walking forward in this step a lot less intimidating.

This is not to say that now, you should just sit back and do nothing since there is no such thing as control, or that you should stand still while you take inventory of God’s blessings in your past. I don’t mean to encourage you to expect God to not only clean up your mess but make improvements while doing it. We must walk forward with God, in partnership with him and his plans for us. Note that I said my three steps to walking with God were simple, but I didn’t promise that they’d be easy.

Jesus said, “Follow me.” He wants to guide us down the best possible path , but he won’t drag us along. You will probably trip and fall a few times, and you might even take a step (or two) backward from time to time. That’s okay. Just don’t let that stop you from taking the first step.

Jess Gilardi was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full-time chaos coordinator for her family (aka stay-at-home mom). She and her husband have three young kids. Jess started writing in hopes that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she can help others learn “the easy way.” Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.

Photograph © Camille Brodard, used with permission