Pondering Our Children

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 NIV)

I always like really good definitions, so I looked up what it means to ponder. Merriam-Webster defines ponder as, “to weigh in the mind, think about, or reflect on.” Another definition I read, from Oxford Languages, stated that ponder means “to think about something carefully, especially before drawing a conclusion.” While these definitions overlap, I really like the additional part about drawing a conclusion because, many times, I think I notice things, but I don’t really give much thought as to why and how the things I ponder bring significance to my life or my worth as a person.

For instance, I can look at my life and realize I have a thousand or more things to be grateful for. I have even written them down in a very long journal list. I still have that journal, although I do not add to the list as often as I should, despite the many blessings I frequently observe. What do all these blessings mean? What does it mean for and to me that I can notice blessings even on the hard days?

My conclusion must be that Jesus’s love for me is far greater than I deserve, far greater than I could ask or imagine. I hate that my sin is so great that Jesus had to die to overcome it. I hate admitting that it is possible that I could have been one of the people seeking his crucifixion, had I been alive then. Pondering these things is what brings me to my knees.

Pondering that Jesus covered it all keeps me on my knees, in joyful thanks that he loves me that much. Oh, what a Savior!

I would guess that in those first moments of Jesus’s life, Mary was not necessarily thinking about the salvation he would eventually offer. If she was anything like me, then she was looking at her beautiful baby and marveling over his perfection. She counted his fingers and toes and looked at the little bits of skin that peeled off his newborn hands. She smelled his newborn smell. She wondered at the miracle in her arms and at how our amazing God gifted him to her. She questioned whether or not she was really ready to take on the beautiful, bittersweet task of motherhood.

I have a feeling Mary’s beautiful, bittersweet motherhood experience shared some similarities with mine. Kids still behave like kids, no matter the century in which we raise them, and I would hazard a guess that Jesus acted like a kid, even though he was the Son of God. Children need love and hugs and attention and training. They need to be seen and cherished. Even Jesus needed these things, I suspect.

Because my kids require all those same needs to be met, I find pondering about them helpful. Sometimes I process through their needs, personalities, and challenges out loud with their dad, my husband. His impression of them is sometimes different from my own. It is so beneficial to our parenting to have one another’s perspective. I can see each child in a new way when my husband tells me what he thinks about their current goings-on. I can draw conclusions about what to do with them, how to help them, how to love them better with his perspective on board. Maybe that is why God didn’t give Jesus to Mary alone, but gave him an earthly father in Joseph.

Pondering our children, who they are becoming, and the paths God has for them needs to be at the forefront of our parenting. They are their own people. He created each of them with unique gifts, talents, and personalities to share with the world in order to show the world his love. Their dad and I are uniquely tasked with helping them figure out who they are and how they want to live in the world and show that love. What an adventure it is!

When I consider my relationships with them and how my heart for them feels like it will just burst at times, I am reminded that this dynamic descends from our good, good Father. Proverbs 29: 17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire” (NIV).

The disciplining of our children is a pathway of challenge, growth, and progress for us as parents as well. I think of discipline as helping them be people that follow the path of Christ. The Lord has “disciplined” me throughout my faith journey with him, and I am grateful. He has shown me Christ’s love in spite of my questions, worries, and sins. He has drawn me back to himself many times over, not the least of which has come through parenting and my kids. They teach me so much about love and the fruits of the spirit. I delight in them and the journey we are on together.

May we, as parents, and anyone else who cares for kids in their lives, ponder the remarkable, awesome people God gave us and learn from them how to be people after God’s own heart!

Lord, you have given us these babies for so many reasons. In at least some small way, the relationship we have with them shows us the kind of love you have for us. Loving them lets us see more clearly the way you love us. Thank you for our children, Lord. Thank you for the way they need us, which allows us to see how we can lean on you. Help us to ponder and pray over them so that we can clearly see their needs and love them as Jesus loves us, sacrificially and yet also calling them to grow up and take care of themselves and serve others. Parenting is no joke, but you are with us, and we can trust your guidance. Amen

Scripture for Reflection

“Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them.” (Ps. 111:2 NIV)

“Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs.” (Eccl. 12:9 NIV)

“Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.” (2 Tim. 2:7 NIV)

Reach for More

Parenting is no joke. It will push and pull us in so many directions and ways, especially when we have to learn and grow with more than one child. They stretch us in ways we didn’t know would be possible, and also, worry will push us past where we can stretch.

I am of the opinion that God set it up this way on purpose. Parenting is one avenue of seeing how God loves us and delights in helping us grow. Maybe now is the time you are being called to honor your kiddo by pondering their needs, gifts, and challenges. How can you lead them on the path toward becoming who they were meant to be? Maybe involve them in the process. Tuck them in at bedtime and start a conversation about who they are in Christ and how much he and you delight in them. Start with telling them that they are on their own path of discovering what God has for them and that you are a helper in the process. See what wonders they reveal to you!

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.