Let’s Live Like the Bride of Christ

Did you know that the United States currently averages over 750,000 divorces a year, making it one of the countries with the highest divorce rate in the world? You may quickly assume that this heartbreaking statistic results from young and impulsive decisions. However, statistics reveal a different trend.

Since 1990, the age group most likely to divorce is 50 and older. Couples 65+ have tripled from 2 in 1,000 married persons to 6 in 1,000 divorcing. This trend increases in correlation to the company people choose to keep. It’s been discovered that if you are friends with someone who goes through a divorce, you are 75% more likely to end your own marriage.

Relationship coach Kevin Darne explains this statistic: “Misery loves company, and if a friend is complaining about her marriage, it’s only natural to chime in with complaints about your own spouse.”

Pam Meyerson, a marriage therapist, added, “Then, once a friend divorces, that friend may experience a temporary high, which can seem very appealing, especially to someone who has been married for a while.”

You’re probably wondering why I’m sharing this information about divorce. I can’t help but see a connection between those who walk away from the church and divorce statistics. Perhaps it’s because, as followers of Jesus, we are the bride of Christ.

Matthew 9:14-15 says,

Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”

Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast. (NIV; see also Mark 2:19–20; Luke 5:34–35)

After the founding of the church on Pentecost, New Testament writers affirmed Jesus’s role as the bridegroom, and they used the imagery of the bride to identify the church (2 Cor. 11:2; Eph. 5:22–33; Rev. 19:7–9).

While many look to Isaiah 62:5, which says, “As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you” (NASB) for this marriage metaphor connection, I believe the book of Hosea is one to study.

God tells the Prophet in Hosea 1:2, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord” (NIV). After bearing several children, Gomer, Hosea’s wife, returns to her previous life just as the Israelites rejected God and turned to idol worship. This is summarized in Hosea chapter 2.

Hosea 2:7-8 says,

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say “I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better off than now.” She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and gold—which they used for Baal. (NIV)

I’ve always wrestled with the Israelites’ determination to worship everything but Yahweh. They were a nation set apart and protected. God chose a land filled with milk and honey for them! But the Israelites didn’t trust God and insisted on following the customs of the nations who enslaved them, sent them into exile, and murdered them.

Why were they always looking for a better option than the life God offered? The truth is, as frustrated as I can be with the Israelites, I’m just as guilty of straying, and not much has changed in the church all these centuries later. But just Hosea pursued Gomer, God continues to pursue us.

Hosea 3:1-5 says,

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”

For the Israelites will live many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without ephod or household gods. Afterward the Israelites will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the Lord and to his blessings in the last days. (NIV)

So how do we stop the cycle? I believe the answer is in the divorce data.

According to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, the number one reason Americans give for divorce is “basic incompatibility.” This response correlated to about 43% of research participants during a recent study followed by infidelity.

If we were to marry and then only spend one hour a week face-to-face learning about our spouse from other people, we would quickly feel disconnected. And just as the marriage therapist pointed out, who we surround ourselves with will impact how we view God’s character.

Incompatibility will happen for many reasons, but we can easily convince ourselves we don’t have anything in common with someone with whom we rarely interact. We can forget the someone who delights in us. (Isaiah 62:4)

Every marriage has its challenges, and we can expect difficult moments on earth as the bride of Christ. Even so, relationships with our Savior and the church are important.

If we believe we are the bride of Christ, let’s live like it and pursue time with God consistently. Let’s be wise about those with whom we surround ourselves. Let’s choose to engage in a relationship with God rather than allow others to tell us about him. Let’s learn firsthand about his character. I believe when we commit to a relationship with God, we will discover for ourselves how much he loves his bride.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Priscilla Du Preez, used with permission