Do You Patiently Trust in the Lord?
For a while, God has been patiently teaching me about the beauty of patience. His method is simple. He asks me to wait—again, and again. Waiting for a diagnosis and more waiting to see if treatments worked, waiting for a pandemic to end and life to return to “normal,” waiting for loved ones to trust Jesus, and now, waiting for a job. Again.
Waiting is hard.
I marvel at God’s creativity in showing me what my own impatience looks like and helping me learn to be more patient.
I recently started riding horses again, something that brings me so much joy. Unaware of my circumstances, my riding instructor chose to focus a recent lesson on training the horse to be patient. I am thinking this was no coincidence.
My instructor’s plan was simple. She asked me to make circles in each of the four corners of the arena, bringing the horse to a complete stop after each circle. If the horse took even one step forward without my command, I was to back her up.
The first few times I brought the horse to a stop, she impatiently pawed at the ground with her hoof, obviously uncomfortable standing still. When she stepped forward without my command, I made her back up. Eventually she stood still, realizing the consequences of moving forward on her own.
While praying for the things I’m currently waiting on, God brought my riding lesson to mind, showing me how my own heart was impatiently pawing the ground, wanting answers and direction. I was ready to move one way or another but so uncomfortable being asked to stand still!
God also revealed times I had stepped forward without his direction, essentially taking the reins into my own hands. I recognized how he has had to “back me up” to get me in line with his plan. And seriously, all those circles? The impatience in me asks, “Wouldn’t a straight line get me there so much quicker?” I sometimes forget that my goals and God’s aren’t always the same.
Whether it’s a horse and rider or me and God, impatience is challenging authority. As a rider, you need to let the horse know you are in charge. God gives us free will, but he is still in charge. We can do things his way or ours.
Impatiently Moving Forward
When we move forward without God’s direction, there are consequences. Genesis 16 tells the story of Abram and Sarai. Sarai had been unable to conceive even after Abram received the promise of abundant descendants. Without God’s command, they stepped forward with their own plan.
And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. (Gen. 16:2 ESV)
But there were consequences to impatiently moving forward.
When Hagar found out that she was pregnant, she became proud and despised Sarai for creating an uncomfortable situation, to say the least!
Hagar bore a son, and they called him Ishmael. But the descendants God promised would not come through him. God backed them up, telling Abraham (formerly Abram):
“As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation. But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah (formerly Sarai) shall bear to you at this time next year.” (Gen. 17:20-21 ESV)
The descendants of Ishmael ultimately become the Palestinian nation, while Isaac’s descendants became the nation of Israel. The conflict between these two nations is an enduring consequence of Abraham and Sarah’s impatience.
Unwilling to Wait
Sometimes our unwillingness to wait causes us to settle for less. Just ask Esau.
One day, while his brother Jacob was cooking bean soup, Esau came in from a day of hunting. He was so hungry he asked Jacob for a bowl of soup. Jacob answered, “I will give it to you if you give me your rights as the first-born son.” (Gen. 25:31 ESV)
Unable to patiently wait for something to eat, Esau agreed to give his birthright to Jacob, impatiently trading much for little.
Afraid to Patiently Trust
If we let it, fear can block our ability to patiently trust. Fear of the “what-ifs” or worse-case-scenarios distract us from God who is both sovereign and good can paralyze us.
This happened to Jesus’s disciples on a boat trip across the lake:
Suddenly a fierce storm hit the lake, and the boat was in danger of sinking. But Jesus was asleep. The disciples went to him and woke him up. “Save us, Lord!” they said. “We are about to die!”” “Why are you so frightened?” Jesus answered. “What little faith you have!” Then he got up and ordered the winds and the waves to stop, and there was a great calm. (Matt. 8:24-26 ESV)
Did the disciples truly believe that, with Jesus in the boat, they were going to die? Or did their fear simply make them impatient for him to do something?
That’s where fear can take me. That’s when I find myself frantically pawing at the ground asking God to intervene, forgetting that he is with me, forgetting that even the winds and the waves obey him!
Theologically, I know security is found in God alone and not in my husband’s job or any of the things I am waiting for right now. Still, anxiety seeps into my heart, seeking to undermine patient trust.
Prayer draws me back into his presence, where I am reminded of his love and faithfulness. In the stillness of prayer, I can give him back the reins and surrender to his control, patiently waiting for his good plans to unfold.
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Ps. 27:13-14 ESV)
and her husband of thirty-three years live in Gainesville, FL. They have moved a dozen times, raising three children along the way. They have added a son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and two precious grandsons to the mix. When she is not packing or unpacking, Ann enjoys serving as a mentor mom for MOPS International, joining Bible studies, meeting friends for coffee, taking long walks, and watching lots of football. Ann is passionate about using lessons from her journey to help other women navigate change in their own lives.
Photograph © Helena Lopes, used with permission
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