Look to the One Who Is Truth

“God, are you even still with me in this battle? I thought you said you’d fight for me, but right now I feel so alone.” I scribbled the words in my journal at the end of a long list of old wounds that had been scraped raw during an argument with my husband the previous night. A season of stress and exhaustion had pushed a wedge between us, and, worse yet, gotten in the way of my relationship with Jesus.

Of course, in his kindness and mercy, God responded almost immediately, giving me a Bible verse and, a short while later, a song. The song, “Battles” by The Afters, was simply his gentle reply that no, he had not abandoned me. He had been fighting my battles all along, and I could trust him to continue. The verse he gave me was a weapon for my part in the fight.

Not the fight with my husband—he’s not the enemy—but the fight within my own mind, where lies born of pain have taken root.

Where Am I Looking?

“Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through.” (Heb. 12:2-3 MSG)

If I wasn’t looking at Jesus, what was I looking at? Myself and my pain, mostly. But also my husband’s mistakes. Neither of which are helpful for reconciliation or God-honoring change. Here’s one thing I’ve learned, however: covering the hurt and brushing past the mistakes isn’t helpful, either. So what are we to do? How do we both deal with the significant wounds and concerns in our lives and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus?

Lay It Bare and Let Him Speak

Imagine the most understanding and compassionate listener you know. Now multiply those characteristics by a thousand, and you might come close to Jesus. He is the safest place to pour out your heart, to lay it all bare, and to be completely real. Perhaps you’d like to write your Savior a letter so you can have the tangible experience of getting all your frustrations out of you.

Imagine Jesus reading your letter, nodding with empathy, tears in his eyes. Let him just hold you for a while, acknowledging the pain. It’s valid, he whispers. This world is broken. You are broken. Your relationships are broken. And it all hurts. That’s why he came.

After the tears are spent and his love is felt, allow him to speak. Read your letter again, and ask him to point to the places where lies and bitterness have taken root. What pain has festered in unforgiveness? Where has the enemy managed to get a foothold and magnified something that needs to be minimized in light of Jesus’ grace? What burden are you shouldering that your Father wants to carry?

Finally—don’t forget this part—what truth is he giving you with which to replace the lies?

You may need a follow-up conversation to reconcile with a loved one, you may need to talk more about these things with a pastor or counselor, or you may need more time to dig to the bottom of all this with Jesus. The important thing is that you have begun. This is a victory, a step toward healing and freedom.

The Word of Grace and Truth

In Get Out of Your Head, Jennie Allen writes, “One God-honoring thought has the potential to change the trajectory of both history and eternity. Just as one uninterrupted lie in my head has the potential to bring about unimaginable destruction in the world around me.”

Allen reminds us that our thoughts are the birthplace of our words and our actions. Before I exploded at my husband, I had allowed destructive thoughts to play in my mind. I resented his choices and chose a hopeless attitude over a faith-filled perspective. If I had brought all this to God earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have said such hurtful things in the heat of the moment.

Can we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, a bit sooner? In times of joy and sorrow? Moment by moment, even? By God’s grace, yes! He is not only going before us in this battle, he is also equipping us with tools to fight the lies, the only thing that can truly destroy us.

So, with the stress of extra activities, excited kids underfoot, and the family celebrations of this holiday season, let’s keep the One who is truth ever before us.

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14 NIV)

Corella Roberts is a country girl and a city girl. An introvert and a socialite. A homebody and an adventurer. But mostly, she’s simply Abba’s child. She’s married to her high school sweetheart, Troy, and they live in Thailand with their two full-of-life kids and two chubbier-than-most hamsters. She’s the author of Colliding with the Call: When Following God Takes You to the Wilderness, and her heart is to see people connect deeply with Jesus. You can find her at corellaroberts.com.