Creating Room for Presence
I really prefer to be a yes girl. I can say no, but I’d rather say yes. When someone asks something of me, I usually try and figure out how I can make it work. That can make December a hard month. Can I make cookies for the school holiday party? I’m sure I can. Would I adopt a family and help provide their Christmas presents? Of course. Will I make a meal for the school teacher celebration? Sure.
As you can imagine, it is easy for me to overcommit myself anytime, but especially in the month of December. I have to be really diligent in order to be present in December. It can be so easy to overload the calendar and feel like the month passes me by.
Creating Presence in Your Schedule
An important part of being present is just taking control of your calendar. So easy for me to write and so hard to actually do! It’s important to block off nights to create space for your priorities. What are the priorities for your family? Do you need to prioritize time with your partner? At-home date nights are a great option if going out isn’t possible. Do you need time to yourself? Work with your partner or your community to make it happen.
If you take a step back and look at your calendar for the next two weeks, do you feel peace? Anxiety? Apprehension? Dread? Excitement? If you look at your calendar and don’t feel you can be present, what are the options? My first step here is prayer. I ask the Spirit to show me where I can adjust plans or make changes. Sometimes he leads me, and sometimes he gives me peace to make the best decisions I know how.
A word to those who highly value commitment. (I am speaking to myself here.) Once I’ve said yes to something, I am unlikely to back out. I don’t want to let anyone down. However, I’ve come to learn that the people who truly love me will typically be gracious if I kindly explain why my circumstances have changed.
Creating Presence despite Your Schedule
Sometimes, we must find a way to be present despite a tough situation. Perhaps we’ve cleared the commitments we can, but still have too many. Perhaps we have difficult family members we must spend time with. Perhaps our children are young or have special needs that drain our energy. How can we be present despite these challenges?
This can be such a hard place to be, because it really takes intentionality and time to be present. We already know time is in short supply. Intentionality also can be hard to find when time is short. When we are at our weakest and at the end of our rope is when God does his best work in us. We need only make space for him to do so.
It might mean a hard step. Set the alarm earlier to spend time in the Word. Instead of running through the next day’s worries when we wake up in the middle of the night, intentionally pray and ask God for guidance. Instead of watching a show or listening to a podcast, spend time with Jesus.
Time with Jesus always reorients our perspective. I know I’m unable to be kind to that difficult coworker or harmful family member without focusing on him first. It helps me to remind myself that even those difficult people are made in God’s image. I try to remind myself that any hurtful behaviors are due to brokenness in their stories. It very rarely is intentionally directed at me. I am able to be more present when I can remember that truth.
Presence Even in December
So we’ve adjusted our schedule. We’ve focused on Jesus. Now it’s time to actually be present. Are you going to a Christmas party? How can you listen and really hear the stories of those with whom you interact? Are you attached to your phone? Maybe some boundaries are needed there in order to create presence with your family.
Isaiah has some beautiful words for us about presence: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (43:18-19 NIV)
God wants to do a new thing! What a beautiful thought. If your December feels like a desert or a wasteland, take heart that God will make a way or create a stream. Let’s look for it and believe him for it.
is a Jesus follower, wife, mom of three, finance director, and lover of sarcasm and deep conversations with friends. She also loves camping, rafting, skiing, sewing, and hosting others in her home.
Photograph © Clay Banks, used with permission
