Come to the End of Yourself

There’s a prevailing belief among Christians that once a person accepts Jesus into their heart, their life will immediately become easier and they will experience fewer struggles. I have been a victim of this thinking before. When a new hardship invariably comes along (because this world has many troubles), we feel devastated. We erroneously believe we must have gotten something wrong and caused the difficulty. Often this leads us to double down on prayer and confess all sins, real or imagined, to God or another person, certain that there’s something we’ve done to cause this malady.

When we’re unable to find an explanation for the trial we face, we may seek guidance from others, who may tell us God is testing us. The story of Job, whom God allowed to lose nearly everything, is often cited as evidence. It appears to make sense, so we believe God wants to test our mettle and see if we have a strong faith. We may even quote the often-used phrase, “God won’t give me more than I can handle” and make it our mantra.

If we study the Bible thoroughly, though, we’ll find that neither of these lines of thinking is accurate.

In the ninth chapter of John, we find the disciples subscribing to the first belief that our sinful behavior causes hardships. They encounter a man who was born blind and ask Jesus which member of the family had sinned to cause the blindness. “‘Neither this man nhis parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him’” (John 9:3 NIV).

God wants to display his power through the blind man’s weakness. He shows his ability to heal, to make whole, through a broken and seemingly hopeless circumstance. The man doesn’t have to work to earn God’s favor. He already has it. His blindness isn’t a punishment, but an opportunity to receive God’s love and grace.

Likewise, our own struggles and hardships are not necessarily because of something we’ve done. God loves us and has given us purpose. We know we are to love God and others, but only God knows exactly how we can do that best. He’s given us abilities and specific life circumstances that allow us to love uniquely. Our job is to find out what those are. For some, it may be through notes of encouragement and kind words. Others may display love through physical acts of service such as mowing lawns, doing yard work, or serving lunches. A parent with young children may serve by volunteering to watch others’ children so they can have a much-needed break.

Just because we find our calling doesn’t mean the path will be free of snares or tangles. Consider Mary and Joseph. God called Mary to be the mother of Jesus and Joseph to stand beside Mary, despite the scandal of having a pregnant fiancée. They chose obedience to God’s will for their lives and likely received ridicule and judgment from their friends and families.

Mary didn’t have an easy life as Jesus’ mother, hearing the prophecies spoken about his eventual death. Yet her faith was solid enough that she trusted God regardless of the circumstances she found herself in: an unwed mother-to-be, a refugee fleeing a murderous king, mother of a son whom many hated and whom she watched die.

Mary’s life is proof that the belief that God won’t give us more than we can handle is erroneous. That phrase isn’t found in the Bible. The Bible says God won’t let us be tempted until we come to ruin (1 Cor. 10:13), but that’s not the same thing. God doesn’t want us to sin, so of course he’ll provide opportunities to choose a better way. Often, that better way involves turning to him and seeking his strength and provision. But it doesn’t mean we won’t face things that feel crushing or that we can’t surmount in our own power. If we could do everything ourselves, we would become our own gods.

Our hardships and struggles are most often the things that remind us of our need for God. They show us we don’t have all the wisdom or power or strength required to succeed. We may do all that we can, but there will almost always be something outside our control, whether that’s another person or time or resources.

Consider the story of Gideon and the Midianites in the book of Judges. God calls Gideon to lead the Israelites to victory in battle, but he knows the hearts of his people and designs circumstances to remind them that God is the one who provides for them. God tells Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me’” (Judges 7:2 NIV). He culls the number of soldiers so that his power and provision will be clear to all.

When we come to the end of ourselves is when we can really make progress. We can acknowledge that we need God. We can’t fully understand why certain things happen to us or to those we love, but we can choose to trust that God is good, that he’s good to us, and that we can trust his plans and purposes even when they include hardship or struggle.

Megan Byrd enjoys reading, writing, traveling, and introverting. She loves nothing better than discovering a wanted book in a thrift store or hiking alongside a river with her family or a good friend somewhere around her home of Asheville, NC. She’s the author of Between Us Girls and can be found chronicling her reading and writing journey @megan.e.byrd on Instagram or writing about life at www.meganbyrd.net.