Sharing Jesus at the Holidays
“Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Col. 4:6 NIV)
Opportunities abound in this month of Thanksgiving for us to have big conversations with family and friends. I don’t consider myself a very quick thinker or very witty, so this freaks me out a little bit. Even thinking about the possibility that we might have to engage in hard discussions can be anxiety-producing for many of us. Walking into conversations about hard things, I know I need the Holy Spirit guiding every word, but most of the time I forget to give him that power. I have to consciously tell the Holy Spirit to go ahead and flow right out of my mouth because I know he will talk better than I ever could, but often I don’t even think about him.
I have experienced both times when the Holy Spirit’s guidance has been completely obvious in my conversations and times when I went ahead without him either from the start or because I didn’t pause and pray through the middle. The high of the first kind of experience cannot be understated. God’s presence is so undeniable, and these are the times that exemplify how falling under his leading gives us great joy, peace, and relational calm or restoration. On the flip side, the times I took the lead myself have been either disastrous, or I ended up feeling like a terrible example of the love of Jesus.
Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (NIV). Ironically enough, I had my kids memorize this verse when they were in preschool. Too bad it didn’t ingrain itself in my brain and on my heart, too, at least not enough to seep into every conversation I have. I know if we would all think about it for just a minute, we could recall an example from our lives where gentle words led to healing or calm and harsh words led to more strife.
Where gentleness is concerned, we need to think about our tone and body language as well as the actual words we speak. I lean toward sarcasm, and this has not served me well. I have confused or hurt friends because my sarcasm ended up being flippant or rude. My tone and body language are affected by whatever anxiety or stress I feel about a situation. Lately, my kids and I have taken up the practice of deep breathing with some kind of mantra such as, “I’m breathing in the calm, breathing out the anger.” Well, we do it whenever I focus enough to guide us into it in whatever hard moments we have. We repeat those words while we take a few deep breaths, and I have been pleasantly surprised by how effective it is. Not only could we do this in actual moments of stress, but as preparation for whatever situation we are going into.
Gentleness in my words is also a struggle for me when I am caught off-guard by something someone else says. Surely, those are the times I need to slow down, take a deep breath, and either not say anything or say a silent prayer for the right words to come. Me and my big mouth need to slow down a bit and give the Holy Spirit an opportunity to step in.
Lord, help us to be quick to listen and slow to speak, giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to pour out of us in our words and body language. Help us to stop in the in-between moments of conversation and allow you to step in and flow right from our very lips. Let our words show your love, your gentleness, and attract people to your Son, Jesus, who has given everything that we might have abundant life. Amen.
Scripture for Reflection
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19 NIV)
“Those who consider themselves religious and do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” (James 1:26 NIV)
Reach for More
Listen to the episode “Me and My Big Mouth” from Andy Stanley’s podcast, Your Move. He gave me some great reminders and insight on the power of my words and the words of others in my life. It was time well-spent, and I love listening to podcasts while I fold laundry.
Take a minute to think back through yesterday or today. I bet you can come up with both an instance where you said just the right thing and an instance where your words didn’t come out quite so right. What can you learn from these moments? Thank God for the good words and ask for forgiveness for the bad words. Think about whether or not your unfavorable words affected someone in your life negatively, and consider if you should ask their forgiveness as well.
My desire for myself is to give the Holy Spirit power over my words at the beginning of each day and every moment within that day as the moments come. It is usually the hard days, the days when things go wrong, that I have the hardest time keeping my words positive and kind. Those are the moments I know I need to slow down and breathe in the help of the Holy Spirit, but maybe I really need to find a way to make that a habit. Alexa reminder to give our days to God, anyone?
enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.
Photograph © S. Tsuchiya, used with permission
