The Fellowship of Hope and Grief

The other day, a friend sent me a meme depicting two people on a track. The person in the back is running at full speed, quickly gaining on the other. This sprinter is labeled “Beginning of 2022.” The person he’s about to catch is labeled “Me Still Trying to Process 2020.”

Now, if that’s not the truth in one picture, I don’t know what is. How can it possibly be almost 2022 when we’re still trying to get our heads wrapped around all that’s happened during the past two years?

The journey through this time has been like nothing else I’ve experienced — like nothing any of us has ever experienced. The global scale of human loss, financial devastation, impact on mental health, racial reckoning, and political polarization has been hard to watch on our news feeds. The way each of these things has manifested in so many lives has been difficult, if not devastating.

Additionally, the ongoing stress of these past two years has made “normal” challenges so much more so. We experienced a few normal stressors like moving, sending my youngest off to kindergarten, and the loss of a few distant loved ones. These are common events, but I could sense that my usual bandwidth for coping was much narrower because of the ongoing toll of the pandemic.

And yet, even in the midst of this time of difficulty, a familiar hope has buoyed us, because that’s what it’s designed to do.

In contrast to how strange and uncommon the pandemic has been, the way hope has shown up these past two years has been remarkably familiar. Rather than being unusual and otherworldly, it has been common, and it had shown up in much the same way hope has shown up for generations of people when they encountered difficulties. Hope is not “unprecedented.” Hope is the consistent thing God has always used to help his people in difficulty, through himself and one another.

As we move toward wrapping up another year of this strange era, I wanted to reflect on a few of my favorite examples where grief and hope have joined hands in fellowship, buoying the people of God during a strange time with hope familiar.

When Grief and Hope Go Together

Jesus in the Garden: As a person of faith and a mental health therapist, the example of Jesus in the garden is central to the teaching that grief and hope can exist in the same space. In the deepest personal and existential pain anyone has ever faced, Jesus turned to his Father. The Source of hope turned to the Creator of hope in order to persevere, ultimately allowing him to give us the greatest gift humanity has ever known.

The Duchess of Cambridge: For those who know the British royals as only news headlines, you are missing out. The Duchess of Cambridge, as well as Princes William and Harry, are dedicated mental health advocates, encouraging people to reach out and support one another in difficult times. The Duchess’s “Hold Still” portrait gallery, full of people’s resilience and experience continues to be one of my favorite visual examples of how God has used people to bring hope to one another.

My Pandemic Loss: These two years of the pandemic coincided with normal hard things, but it also brought one of the most devastating losses of my adult life. In the dark, cold days of January 2021, we tragically lost a family member, my beloved, thirty-five-year-old brother-in-law, who was a husband, father of three, and friend. The amount of pain in that loss was shored up only by the people who came in droves as God’s servants in prayer and practicality, holding those up who couldn’t stand on their own. Like the pandemic, this loss was an uncommon experience. But the way hope showed up was so familiar it was almost predictable. The village of humanity is often heroic in tragedy.

As the end of the year nears, we will do what we always do: reflect. For us, in this strange time, we will probably continue to take an account of what has happened throughout the fullness of the pandemic. For all the difficulty and sadness, we must also remember to reflect upon the hope that God has provided consistently and predictably throughout this time, allowing us to maintain our faith and support for one another.

Thank you, Lord, for your consistent hope in an unpredictable and strange world. It is our greatest comfort that we can always count on you no matter how sad things are, how long it lasts, or how weird it gets.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Rom. 15:13 ESV).

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Rom. 12:12 ESV).

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8 ESV).

Anne Rulo is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coach’s wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and are passionate about reaching people for Christ and sharing information on coaching, marriage, family, and mental health. Read more from Anne at www.annerulo.com.