Five Values from Living through Hardship
I’ve heard people talk about “getting back to normal” so many times in the past few months. It’s what we’re supposed to do after something difficult or tragic or out of the ordinary. We’re supposed to move on from the challenging time and live like it never happened. But I’m not sure what “normal” even is. “Normal” implies a stable, predictable state of existence, and I don’t think that truly exists.
Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, people have been talking about when we can get back to normal and what it will feel like. We want to move on from this difficult time and enjoy life like we used to. I’ve also heard some say that instead of getting back to normal, we’ll be living a “new normal.” The pandemic has irreversibly changed our lives, and we will need to find ways to adjust.
When I google “getting back to normal,” the majority of links in the search are about anxiety. It turns out that many of us are struggling with anxiety about going back to what we once considered normal (commutes, travel, busy schedules) and with anxiety about safety when we interact more with the outside world. We’re uncertain and worried about going back to a way of life we had to give up for a while.
I think when we say “back to normal,” we are looking for comfort in the familiar, looking for a way to find stability in a world that feels chaotic. And nothing is wrong with this desire. But what if, instead of trying to revert to a previous way of living, we could transform our experiences into a new way of living? What if we were able to take what we’ve learned and integrate it into our lives moving forward?
Since living through a global pandemic was new to all of us, we probably won’t understand its impact on us for a long time, perhaps never fully. Future history books will interpret this time with whatever lessons we have modeled to future generations. But as I reflect on the past year and a half, I can already notice a few things I’ve learned to value more than I used to.
Innovation
I am extremely impressed (though I shouldn’t be surprised) by the way people have innovated to create new ways of living, new products to help people, and most of all, new vaccines to save lives. I’ve always resonated with the idea of the imago Dei, how humanity bears the creative drive of divinity. And I think we’ve seen how we can innovate and create, even (or especially) under pressure.
Adaptability
Change is hard, but out of necessity, we’ve all learned that being able to adapt to new situations is essential to survival. We’ve all adapted in different ways to the various pressures we’ve faced during the pandemic. Personally, I needed to adapt to working full-time from home, to finding a new daily rhythm when home life and work life existed in the same space. I’m learning to be more flexible in my day-to-day life.
Gratitude
I’ll be honest; this word doesn’t always work for me. I don’t know how to be grateful for pain and suffering, for the horrific amount of death that humanity has seen in the past year. But I am learning to hold that grief in one hand, and in the other, to find a nuanced thankfulness for existence: for the light of a new morning, for walks at sunset, for the first sip of hot coffee and the half-paragraph I manage to read before falling asleep. I’m thankful for the people I love, for the love they show me. I’m thankful for opportunities to interact with my community, to share stories and burdens. I’m thankful for this life.
Presence
In the initial days of quarantine, I remember feeling the isolation very deeply. There was nowhere to go, and it was unsafe to see other people. I started taking a lot of walks to work out my anxiety and pent-up energy. And I started noticing things more: the way the seasons slowly shifted from one to the next, the way the birds behaved during nesting time, the way the days grew longer as we approached midsummer. I started taking more deep breaths and mental breaks from my work. I started appreciating every second of life a bit more. This is something I want to carry with me. I want to truly live each moment, whether in my work or in my family life, whether I’m traveling or spending a quiet evening in the back yard with a book. It is all precious time.
Love
More than ever, I am realizing how love is the essence of living. I’m learning to love myself more—which may sound self-obsessed, but what I mean is I’m working to stop negative self-talk and appreciate who I am and what I’ve been through. I’m also learning what it means to love others more. During quarantine, we took actions not only to keep ourselves safe, but also to protect our neighbors. I am realizing more now how collective action is a form of love for each other.
These are just a few of the values that I’m holding on to more tightly these days. We’ve all been through difficult things during this time, in various ways, and maybe our survival and resilience can give us a deeper experience of living through whatever is next, normal or not.
is a writer, reader, and publishing professional who lives with her husband in Grand Rapids, Michigan. After leaving the stay-at-home-daughter movement, she started over by studying creative writing at Michigan State University, working in education and literacy, and eventually finding her way to an editorial position in book publishing. Find her at caitwest.com and on Instagram and Twitter at @caitwestwrites.
Photograph © Flor Saurina, used with permission
