When God Gives You a Do-Over

How can we be here again?

That was my thought when, for the third time in five years, the head coach my husband worked for was fired. For those unfamiliar with the world of big-time football, when the head coach is fired, it seldom bodes well for the rest of the staff. The incoming head coach typically brings his own staff, forcing the old staff to move on.

Although I was careful not to ask why audibly, God knew the question loomed large in my heart. I believe that God is sovereignly in control of all things, so there must have been a reason we were facing change. Right?

I gained new insights into our experience through the story of Joseph and his brothers. You know, the ones who threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery. Years later, they unknowingly stood before him in Egypt to buy food during a famine. In the in-between years, Joseph had risen in power from slavery, followed by unjust imprisonment, eventually becoming second in command to Pharaoh himself. Now, Joseph was in charge of the distribution of food, and his brothers were forced to come to him for help.

If you know the story, you know that Joseph’s father, Jacob, sinfully showed preference to Joseph and Benjamin. They were the sons he had with Rachel, his chosen wife whom he loved, while the others were the sons of Rachel’s sister, Leah, the wife who was forced upon him (Gen. 29:30 ESV). Jacob’s preferential love for Rachel and her sons incited the jealousy of his other sons that landed Joseph in the pit. Now, that same preferential love kept Benjamin safely home with Jacob while the other brothers made the risky trek to Egypt in search of grain to save them all.

Recognizing his brothers, Joseph accused them of being spies and tricked them into sharing details about their family. Learning that his father was still alive and that his youngest brother had stayed home, he imprisoned them for three days. Then he told them to go home and bring Benjamin back, while he kept Simeon as a hostage. Ironically, even as the brothers didn’t recognize Joseph standing before them, they recognized that this distress had come upon them because of their earlier actions towards Joseph (Gen. 42:21 ESV).

When they arrived back in Canaan, Jacob was upset with his sons for disclosing to “the man” that they had a younger brother at home, setting the stage for what would come next. Jacob had to allow Benjamin to travel to Egypt, or they would all starve.

When Benjamin arrived in Egypt, things began to get crazy. Joseph invited all the brothers to a banquet and gave Benjamin five times as much food as the others (Gen. 43:34 ESV). While they ate, Joseph instructed his servant to hide his cup in Benjamin’s bag, then chase them down and accuse them of stealing it. The brothers denied any wrongdoing, even saying that if the cup was found, the man who found with it should be put to death. Imagine what went through their minds when the cup was found in Benjamin’s bag. After they had promised they would keep him safe!

Here we see a glimpse into what Joseph and God are up to. History is being repeated. First, Benjamin received preferential treatment from his father, then again in Egypt, from Joseph. Now he’s been caught with Joseph’s cup. Will the brothers’ jealous tendencies lead them to abandon Benjamin, as they had abandoned Joseph? Or did they regret what they had done to Joseph? Had their character grown over the years?

In essence, the brothers got a “do-over.” An opportunity to demonstrate repentance for what they had done to Joseph. This time they got it right by fighting for their brother’s safe return to Jacob. Joseph, finally convinced that they had changed, revealed his identity, and the brothers were reconciled. His faith that God was always in control was evident when he told his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Gen. 50:20 ESV)

Pondering this story, God led me to look back at my own.

When the new general manager decided to fire our head coach so he could hire his own guy, I was angry and bitter. We had only been there one year. I verbalized my anger towards “the man.” But really, I was angry with God. After all, he is always in control, right?

So, God gave me a do-over. This time it was the athletic director who fired our head coach. Again, we had only been there one year. Of course, I was upset, but not bitter. I was optimistic that a new opportunity was right around the corner. As days turned into months, my optimism turned into fear, also known as not trusting God. Honestly, how did Joseph handle those years in prison without doubting God? Maybe he had moments of doubt, but he learned to listen to God during those years. Hearing the voice of God set him up to interpret dreams and rise to power. And, ultimately, to stand before his brothers, bringing reconciliation.

Eventually, our time of waiting also led us to hear the voice of God. When my husband received two job offers, we had confidence about the option God had for us, and it was the one that made no sense from the world’s perspective. But it turned in to a great job where my husband coached for three years, developing deep relationships with his players, and I developed lifelong friendships with the wives on the staff and many in our local church.

It seemed perfect, until our athletic director retired. The new guy decided he wanted to “go in a different direction” and hire his own head coach. But this time, I wasn’t mad, bitter, or fearful. Like Joseph’s brothers, I had learned from my mistakes, and like Joseph, my trust in God had grown.

However, the story doesn’t end there. It wasn’t until I studied the story of Joseph’s brothers that God revealed my need to look back and repent of my sinful thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs surrounding these past circumstances. In the same way that God brought Joseph’s brothers back to circumstances like those that caused them to sin, he has twice taken me back to mine. I guess I am slow to learn!

But what I finally realized is this: You cannot believe that God is both sovereign and good yet be angry and fearful about your circumstances.

Faith and trust require that we view our circumstances through the lens of a good and sovereign God, rather than viewing God through the lens of our circumstances.

Over the years, God has gently shifted my heart. Rather than asking why in the midst of challenges, I now ask what God is seeking to accomplish. And I have learned to pay close attention when he takes me back to familiar circumstances and offers me a do-over.

Ann Skalaski and her husband of thirty-three years live in Gainesville, FL. They have moved a dozen times, raising three children along the way. They have added a son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and two precious grandsons to the mix. When she is not packing or unpacking, Ann enjoys serving as a mentor mom for MOPS International, joining Bible studies, meeting friends for coffee, taking long walks, and watching lots of football. Ann is passionate about using lessons from her journey to help other women navigate change in their own lives.