Designed to Need Help

My husband gently shook my arm, and I opened my sleepy eyes. It took a minute to focus and process what I saw outside the car window. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought I was still dreaming. It looked as if we had been transported back in time and across the ocean.

We had just entered the old city gates of Quebec City. The streets had turned to cobblestone, and the buildings looked as if they had leapt from the pages of a classic fairytale. Flags fluttered, and flowers brought a cheery reminder of spring, despite the snow still on the ground.

We found our hotel and excitedly wheeled our bags through the front door. We were greeted by the charming woman behind the front desk. She welcomed us to Canada, checked us in, and gave us directions to the nearest parking facility. Once we got our bags all settled, we set out to park the car.

It didn’t take long for us to become hopelessly lost, and our GPS wasn’t much help. All the signs were in French. We couldn’t tell which streets were one way or which direction traffic was headed. There was a construction project blocking an entrance with a detailed sign explaining the detour. I’m sure it would have been extremely helpful to anyone who could read French.

My husband suggested we stop and ask for help, but I didn’t want to bother anyone. I was sure they had places to be and appointments to keep and did not want to be delayed by the unprepared Americans who hadn’t taken the time to download Google Translate before they got lost.

Thankfully, my husband decided to stop and ask anyway. Otherwise, we might still be driving in circles on the cobblestone streets of Old Quebec City. We pulled to the side of the road when we saw a couple eating lunch at a sidewalk café. I gathered together all the courage I could muster as I approached these strangers and asked them for help.

And you know what happened? Nothing. The earth didn’t open up and swallow me whole. I wasn’t pelted with rocks or tomatoes or even insults. They didn’t even roll their eyes. That sweet couple didn’t seem to mind at all that I was interrupting their lunch. In fact, they seemed genuinely happy to help me.

It made me wonder why it’s so hard for me to ask for help. Whether I need help from my family, my friends, or my God, I tend to want to do it all on my own. I don’t want to need anyone.

But that’s not how God designed us. We were never meant to make it through this life on our own. That was never the plan. We were created to seek him. We were designed to need him. Every single moment we try to get through on our own is a moment we’ve wasted our energy and our time. We’ve missed the point.

For some reason, this truth is the one my human nature battles most. Can you relate? Do you find yourself wanting to do it all on your own?

I’ve come to understand that my hesitation to ask for help—to need someone—is rooted in fear. If I do it myself, I’m the only one I can blame if things don’t work out as planned. I’ve slowly realized I’m afraid if I need someone, even God, he won’t be there for me. If I only rely on myself, no one else will disappoint me. I won’t be caught unprepared for heartbreak.

If you can relate, take some time to ask God where your fear is rooted and how he can transform that fear into faith.

We’re missing out on the beauty of God’s plan when we refuse to allow others to help carry our burdens or meet our needs. Whenever I’m able to help someone, whether it’s in a big or small way, it’s always a blessing to me. It’s a privilege and an honor to be used by God to make a difference to someone. And every time I insist on doing something myself, I’m denying another’s opportunity to be a part of God’s beautiful work.

Everyone needs help now and then. God tells us all we need to do is ask. He promises he will answer us. He wants us to seek him. He promises he will be found. When we knock, he will open the door. No matter where we go in life, we can always count on the Lord to be there for us.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened” (Matt. 7:7-8 ESV).

God, there is nowhere we can go where you cannot be found. Thank you for your promises. Help us to remember we were never meant to carry our burdens alone. Thank you for always answering us when we call to you. Amen.

Ashley Doyle Pooser is a part-time writer and full-time wanderer. She is married to a travel nurse and homeschools her three kids on the road. She’s basically flying by the seat of her pants thirteen weeks at a time. You never know where you might cross paths with her, but you can bet she’ll be singing car karaoke and documenting all her shenanigans on Instagram at @thisonetinylife.

Photograph © Livia Widjaja, used with permission