Know When to Let Go
For many years, I’ve dreamed of writing a book. My journals are littered with ideas for memoirs, children’s books, and even a rough idea for a poetry book. Some of the book ideas are simply a title scratched out in my less-than-tidy handwriting. Others are fully fleshed-out outlines, complete with the beginnings of a few chapters saved in a Google Doc.
Writing is one of my passions. I have always felt most confident expressing myself in the written word. I was the student who cheered inwardly when the teacher assigned a paper instead of a test. I maintained a blog for several years while submitting my writing for publication in varied online forums.
In these years, as I’ve dabbled in growing my writing, I have also been busy with several other endeavors. I’m a full-time homeschool mom and small business owner. I grow and sell cut flowers for my local community and do floral design work. I actively served in my church in various ministries for several years. I occasionally speak to moms’ groups. I’m sure you can see where this is going.
I am the type of person who loves to experience it all. I want to try new things and take on new endeavors. The problem is, I’m just one person with only twenty-four hours in each day. I tend to take on projects to the point of burnout.
For the past few months, I’ve known some of my commitments needed to come off my plate. I could hear the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me certain activities were no longer for me. Instead of heeding this call, though, I found excuses because I wanted these things in my life, and I told myself I could just manage my time better to fit them in. I felt extra tied to these commitments because they all involved writing.
The pandemic has been an agent of clarity for many of us. We are now over a year into periods of shutdowns, mask mandates, and more time at home than we’ve ever had. With the elimination of several family activities like sports, homeschool co-op, and church events, I had a lot more time on my hands. Yet I still struggled to meet several deadlines, and writing had become a chore instead of a delight. The problem wasn’t a lack of time or time management. My heart was no longer in the projects, and God made it very clear that it was time to move on.
Why is it so hard to walk away from something even when you know it’s time? Some of us don’t want to disappoint people who are depending on us. We feel like quitters. We lament the time and energy we’ve put into something only to walk away from it. Other times, stopping an activity seems like killing a dream.
We are created, finite beings with only so much bandwidth. We weren’t made to do it all, and anyone who tells you differently is most likely trying to sell you something. How can we determine the commitments God has for us without suffering from a case of taking on too much?
Say Yes Less Often
Jesus didn’t grant every request. He fled from crowds. He made space for prayer and contemplation before serving (see Matt. 8:18 ESV). Comparing ourselves to Jesus feels like a stretch, but we can learn from his example and save our yeses for our highest priorities. One thing that helps me be less impulsive in my decisions is a tactic I learned from researcher Brené Brown. She tells how, when approached with a request, she spins a silver ring on her hand and silently repeats, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” This practice has been a game-changer for me, causing me to slow down my decision-making process and choose the momentary discomfort of letting someone down instead of resentment at an overstuffed schedule.
Embrace a Seasonal Approach
We can do so many incredible things in our lives, but we can’t do them all at once. Just as plants have seasons of growth, blooming, setting fruit, and dying back, our lives have busy and slow seasons. I’m deep in a season of raising my children, preparing for the teen years, and helping my family settle in well to our new town. This is not my season to take on new things. While I may need to put writing on the back burner for now, that doesn’t mean my dream of publishing a book will never come true. I trust the Creator of the seasons, who gently reminds us that natural rhythms lead to greater flourishing.
Work for God and Not for Men
I added Colossians 3:23 to my email signature a few years back. Paul’s reminder to us to “work as if for the Lord and not for men” reminds me of who I am genuinely accountable to. When God is telling me to let something go, and I resist, it’s often because I am too concerned with how it appears to men rather than trusting God with the process. Seeing this verse before I send each email keeps me grounded in truth.
I still hope to write a book one day, but I’m listening to the voice telling me to put that dream aside for now. Putting writing aside isn’t a permanent decision, but I know it was the right one for this season. As I pulled out of writing groups and away from writing commitments, I was flooded with peace, knowing I was leaning into God’s best for me in this season. Trust God with where he is leading you. The good shepherd won’t let you down.
is a small-scale farmer, home educator, chicken chaser, kitchen dancer, and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include spending time with her family, exploring the natural world, reading, eating spicy food, and singing loudly in the car (to the embarrassment of her children). Lindsay believes sharing our stories will change the world. She writes about farming, homeschooling, faith, mental health, sobriety, and living an unconventional life. You can follow her adventures at Kinship Flower Farm.
Photograph © Darius Bashar, used with permission
