The God of Try Again

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NLT)

My daughter taught me the courage to try again in a high school gym.

Sophomore year, as the defending champion at her high school conference gymnastics meet, my daughter jumped on the uneven parallel bars to perform a routine that should have been fairly—well, routine. But it wasn’t. It ended in a fall and a concussion that left her disoriented, weepy, and in pain for weeks.

That fall haunted her for a year. She relived the feeling every time she even thought about performing that dismount. She hadn’t been able to mentally get past the fear of trying it again.

Fast forward to one year later. Same competition, same apparatus, even harder dismount. I watched her chalking up, and I knew she was afraid. I knew she was remembering. I knew she was thinking, What if? What if I fall again? What if I get hurt worse? What if the favorite becomes the failure, again? And I watched her jump anyway.

At that point, her score didn’t matter. Whether or not she stuck to the routine didn’t matter. The most important thing she accomplished all day was simply jumping on the bar.

I think most of us understand the fear of showing up and jumping on when we’ve failed or fallen or both. I still tremble at the thought of friend rejection, even though the childhood situations that caused that heartache are many decades in the past. I know adult students who get anxious over final exams—but really, it’s the final exams they took ten years ago that still shadow them. Friends flinch at walking into a church building and trying again, because the trauma they experienced the last time they did haunts and hurts their hearts.

Ther’’s a story of fear in the Bible we can relate to. Remember Peter, the one who promised to stand by Jesus until the end and then, when the soldiers came, decided that was the end? He swore on a stack of Bibles that he didn’t know his Teacher. His was a concussion of betrayal strong enough to rupture all his belief in any hopeful future.

Then Jesus returned, and we read these words: “Now go and tell his disciples, including Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you before he died” (Mark 16:7 NLT).

Including Peter. It’s almost like Jesus specifically told his friends, “Hey, tell Peter I really want to see him. I want him to try again.”

Wait. It’s not almost like that—it’s just like that.

What do we consider when we think of the hardest thing Peter ever did? Surely it was to walk on water. Maybe it was starting the church. A good contender would be martyrdom, traditionally crucified upside down.

I disagree. I believe the hardest thing Peter ever did was go back to Jesus and face down his fear of rejection and failure. He had to resist the temptation to crawl into a box of anonymity and never try to be brave again. The fishing boat probably never looked so good. Peter must have been terrified to try again. He did not want to jump back on that bar.

Yet he does—or, in this case, he jumped into the water. He paddled to Jesus as fast as he could, but I wonder what was going through his mind as he swam.

The weeks after Easter reminds us of Peter’s failure, and it should remind us of ours as well. We do well to contemplate our own betrayals and the heartfelt vows we never kept. But these days should also remind us that our fears of never being good enough are groundless in the light of Jesus’ resurrection. His willingness—his wanting-ness—to include and embrace Peter offers us the same hope that no one is beyond trying again. We can come to him on our own beach of need and say,  “Yes Lord, you know I love you. I want to try again.”

In the month we celebrate Easter, we recognize resurrection as the best reason ever for trying scary things once again. The safety net of a resurrected Lord is there to catch us when we jump.

Lord, thank you for your inclusion of Peter. Thank you that, in the middle of resurrection glory, you thought to say his name. We’re both humbled and hopeful by that. Give us the courage of resurrection to face our fears and follow you. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

“A third time he (Jesus) asked him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, ‘Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.’” (John 21:17 NLT)

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NLT)

“I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Phil 1:6 NLT)

Reach for More

• Name one thing you feel the Holy Spirit nudging you to try again.
• What’s a tangible step you can take this week to do that?
• Write down three ways you’ll combat the fear when it comes (because it will).
• Write down what you will do to celebrate when you try! (You don’t have to succeed. You just have to try in order to celebrate.)

Jill Richardson is a writer, speaker, pastor, mom of three, and author of five books. She likes to travel, grow flowers, read Tolkien, and research her next project. She believes in Jesus, grace, restoration, kindness, justice, and dark chocolate. Her passion is partnering with the next generation of faith. Jill blogs at jillmrichardson.com.

Photograph © Saksham Gangwar, used with permission