Look Up, Look Forward, Look Without

She sighed.

I could hear the resignation in her voice. Her shoulders slumped, and she frowned.

“I study all the time, and I still have the lowest grades in the class. I’m not confident I’ll pass the course. Maybe I should drop out.”

I noticed dark circles under her eyes, the result of coffee-fueled evenings where she sat with her face fixed on the computer screen.  Sleepless nights followed by weary mornings, powered by more coffee to carry her to work. Hurrying to class when she’d rather be home hugging her child. She described the flutter in her chest as she logged in to get test scores. The sinking feeling in her gut when her grades weren’t as high as she’d hoped.

My first inclination was to go into teacher mode, toss around terms like “growth mindset” and “productive struggle,” and tell her what I’d tell my students:

You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to do your best.

Keep working at it. You’ll get better.

But what would I do in her place? Honestly, I’m also reluctant to pursue a goal if there’s a chance I’ll fail.

But what about when a lack of confidence keeps us from answering God’s call?

I suppose we’re in good company. Moses lacked confidence, too. Exodus 3 and Exodus 4 tell how God called Moses to lead his people out of Egypt, and how Moses offered excuse after excuse.

Don’t you want to just shake him and say, “Moses! Be confident! That’s God you’re talking to! You’re going to part the Red Sea. You’re going to lead a million people out of Egypt. Don’t you know God’s got this?”

But don’t we make the same excuses? We feel that tug inside, that God-planted yearning to venture out, to try something new, to do something bold. The beating of our hearts urges us to march forward, but our knees have turned to jelly and we can’t take that first step, or the second step. We run from the battle, so we never experience the victory.

Because, like Moses, we look within.

We see our past failures, inadequacies, and weaknesses.

“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” (Ex. 3:11 ESV)

Like Moses, we look around.

We see opposition. We worry about what others will think.

Then Moses answered, “But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’” (Ex. 4:1 ESV).

We see the competition. We fear someone more skilled could do a better job, so we tell God, “Send someone else.”

But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?  Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”  But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” (Ex. 3:10-13 ESV)

Leave the job to the professionals, we think.

But what if we looked up?

We’d see an all-powerful God who made our brains and our bodies and can certainly bring us success.

What if we looked forward?

We’d see the prize, the goal, the victory before us.

And what if, when we look around, instead of comparing ourselves to others, we looked for someone to help? Someone with the skills we lack. Someone to walk beside us the way Aaron accompanied Moses (see Ex. 4:14-17, 27-31).

After we’ve looked up, after we’ve looked forward, we still need to look without. Like Moses, we’re going to experience obstacles.

God warned Moses he would not initially experience success.

And the Lord said to Moses, “When you go back to Egypt, see that you do before Pharaoh all the miracles that I have put in your power. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go.” (Ex. 4:21 ESV)

I’m quick to mistake a bump in the road for a detour. If I’m doing God’s will, I reason, the path will be smooth, and doors will fly open when I arrive at my destination.  A difficulty seems like an indication to turn around.

Good thing Moses didn’t turn around. And we don’t need to turn around, either. Obstacles are not road signs that say, “Wrong way.”  They’re challenges we overcome when we look up, look forward, and look around.

My friend has not given up. Today I see her beaming as she leans on God and pursues her dreams. Her tenacity inspires me to step out and take risks, even though there’s a good chance I’ll fall flat on my face.

Has God placed in your heart a burning desire to make a difference? Do you harbor a dream you can’t extinguish, no matter how hard you try to ignore it? Could you be hearing God’s voice, telling you to go?

Look up, look around, and look forward to what God will do if you listen to his voice and obey his call to go.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor. 12:9 ESV)

Margaret Kemp spends most days teaching a classroom full of lively five-and six-year-olds. She’s attracted to be fragrance of vanilla, the printed word, and all things blue and white. She delights in spending time with her husband and family, singing praises with her church choir peeps, and traveling. Her heart’s desire is to know God better and learn to trust him more. You can read more of her writing at MargaretKemp.com.

Photograph © Elia Pellegrini, used with permission