Embracing the Changing Seasons of Motherhood

Before I begin this letter, here’s a shout-out to my three middle guys: You all bring me so much joy, and I love you beyond measure. Your antics keep me on my toes, and I love every minute.

My first and last babies seem to be the ones who cause me to think about beginnings and endings, though. Hence this letter is brought on by my boy turning thirteen. Thirteen, you guys; the beginning of the teen years. That cliche about time flying is no joke. I remember, as many mamas probably do, the day he was born. My husband and I lay in the hospital bed while the nurse had the baby. We mentioned how, for at least the next eighteen years, just the two of us would no longer be the norm.

The two of us grew into five of us when our baby girl joined our family, making her appearance right when we had decided that four boys might be just what God had planned for us and that we should move on from the desire for more babies. Yet here was another new beginning. Her due date was October 12, 2018, and her biggest brother’s birthday is October 6, so we imagined it might be fun for them to share a birthday. All my boys arrived early, so I assumed baby girl would, too. Alas, God likes to change it up on us, just to remind us that we should not have many expectations, so I had to kick out that last baby via induction on her actual due date.

I am pretty sure traipsing into the teen years with a two-year-old chills us all out. The antics of toddlerhood keep everyone in the family laughing. All the boys love our baby girl, and watching them together gives us a joy that seeps into our bones.

My sweet baby girl still nurses, but she is nearing the end of that experience. Breastfeeding has been one of the sweetest gifts God has given me. On one hand, I mourn that babyhood must really come to an end. She continues to grow and change every day, and while I am thankful, I know I will miss it. I cannot help but feel that God will allow me to continue “mothering” in some way, shape, or form throughout my days. Maybe, with the end of these nursing years, another story will be unfolding!

Psalm 127: 3-5 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

Every time one of our kids does something frustrating or annoying, my husband looks at me and says, “Your quiver is full,” with that tone that sounds jokey. It always makes me laugh and remember that the Bible says kids are a blessing. Not only does the Bible say that, but most of the time, I see it in my daily life. They bless me much more often than they annoy or frustrate me. They reward me with smiles and thank-yous and hugs and kisses.

I will never get over the times when they throw their arms around me and say, “You’re the best mom ever!” Granted, this is usually in response to me saying yes to video games or television, but hey, I’ll take the win. The eleven-year age gap between our oldest and youngest sometimes feels like a lot, but it really has extended the number of years I can look forward to experiencing moments like these.

I used to be scared of the teen years, worried that I would not know what to do with teens or how to relate to them. I had friends tell me it would all be okay and that my kids would still be a source of joy and laughter even when they are no longer toddlers, squishable and funny. I am happy to say they were right. I know he is only about to be thirteen, and we are just entering the years where so much real growing up happens, but I look at this oldest boy of mine, and I just about burst. Who knew that sweet little baby boy would turn into a young man I can laugh with and enjoy life with as much as I do?

Watching him with his siblings makes my heart overflow. He loves them, which is something I expected, but I didn’t expect it to cause such emotional responses all the time. He tells me funny jokes, and he likes to play games with his dad and me. He likes to read the same books I do sometimes, and he keeps getting better at talking about them, analyzing the content. I still have no idea what he wants to be when he grows up. When I hear of a mom whose child does have a life goal at this young age, I sometimes feel worried that I won’t have enough time to help my boy on his path. However, then I think about how exciting his blank slate is. He has so many options!

My prayer for all my kids is that they will make the world a better place. If the way they love each other at home is any indication of how God will use them in the world, then I think we are all going to enjoy this ride! Here’s to the beginning of the teen years. May they be filled with love, fun, and laughter!

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband, four sons, and a daughter. A baby interrupts her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator, and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.