The Value of Growth

For the past few months, I have participated in an activity that is way out of my comfort zone: group journaling. Eleven friends and I chose a theme for our journals, completed five pages on that theme, and then passed them along each month to another participant. After one year, our journals will return to us with twelve perspectives covering sixty pages on our chosen theme laid out in art and prose.

Last month, the journal I received had the theme of growth. The previous journaler had added quotes alongside beautiful drawings of flowers, butterflies, and plants—all things we commonly associate with growth. Being a flower farmer, I love how often I find metaphors for personal growth in my flower beds. When you nurture plants from tiny seeds to towering stems each year, you become intimately familiar with cycles of growth.

I love how growth is being celebrated and studied in our current culture. We practice a growth mindset in our home, the belief that our basic abilities are things we can develop with time and effort. We praise our children’s physical growth and their emotional and relational growth as they navigate new relationships and experiences.

Growth is necessary for a thriving life. No one wants to be the same person at forty that they were at twenty. I will always choose growth over stagnation, but it’s important to recognize growth comes with a cost.

The hard thing about growth is outgrowing. Have you ever tried on a pair of pants only to notice the waistband biting into the flesh of your waist and the fabric straining over your thigh? Have you ever tried to keep those pants on, ignoring the discomfort out of pride in wearing a specific size or fear of being a more substantial body?

Like clothes, sometimes we outgrow the relationships, jobs, communities, and institutions that were once staples in our lives. But over time, we find we no longer fit in those spaces, and we have a choice to make. We can stay, holding our breath and sucking in our stomachs in a futile attempt to maintain the status quo. Or we can make the difficult choice to step out of the places that no longer fit us, leaving behind the security, comfort, and belonging we once knew. Both options come with a fair amount of discomfort, but only one leads to flourishing.

Staying in places we’ve outgrown leads to shrinking ourselves to fit in. When a plant runs out of room in a pot, it will stop growing. Plants can even die when they become root bound from being it the same vessel for too long. The same can happen with our souls if we aren’t careful.

I’ve experienced a lot of growth and outgrowing over the past few years. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that I hope will benefit your growth journeys.

Growth Does Not Equal Superiority

Outgrowing relationships and communities in your life does not necessarily mean you are better than or more enlightened than the people and groups you’ve outgrown. It merely means you are too different to maintain the same level of connection for mutual flourishing. In outgrowing some of my friendships, I realized I could still be a friendly acquaintance with that person without deeply investing in a bond that wasn’t serving either of us.

Don’t Skip the Grief

When we leave the places that no longer fit us, it can be tempting to move right on to the shiny new thing promising us  belonging, purpose, and community. American Christians aren’t well-acquainted with grief and lament practices, and that is to our detriment. Change often brings loss, and those losses should be grieved. The good news is that the belonging, purpose, and relationship you crave are already available to you through Christ as you move through the grief process. Lean into Jesus as you leave behind the things you’ve outgrown.

God Values Growth

In the Bible, we most often hear of growth as a sanctification process, of becoming more like Christ as we walk with him. Philippians 1:6 promises “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (ESV). The Holy Spirit continually works in our lives to show us the areas where we need to grow. Be open to learning where God is leading you to change in your life.

Growing people are flourishing people. While growth has costs, the reward is a vibrant life. We have a faithful Savior who modeled for us how sacrifice and discomfort lead to blessing. Take the bold first step out of the places you’ve outgrown, trusting there is wide open space to bloom.

Lindsay Hufford is a small-scale farmer, home educator, chicken chaser, kitchen dancer, and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include spending time with her family, exploring the natural world, reading, eating spicy food, and singing loudly in the car (to the embarrassment of her children). Lindsay believes sharing our stories will change the world. She writes about farming, homeschooling, faith, mental health, sobriety, and living an unconventional life. You can follow her adventures at peckandpetalfarm.com.

Photograph © Marty Finney, used with permission