Why We Need Real Relationships

Real-life relationships are important. COVID-19 has messed with our lives physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. As an introvert, I thought the shelter-in-place order would be no problem for me. I don’t mind staying home at all, but after weeks at home with no normal schedule, I began to see the benefit of real-life, face-to-face relationships that happen outside my house.

Living through a screen is just not the same. We watched church at home from March until August. It was a good experience. I was thankful for the opportunity to “attend” our church while sheltering in place. But when we went back to church in person, it was amazing. I immediately noticed the difference. Worshiping together—the music, the preaching, being near other believers—made me realize how much I had missed being in the church building. I hadn’t realized how incomplete life feels without other people. I knew I had felt out-of-sorts, and that the planner in me missed my daily routine badly, but it didn’t really hit me until that day that I was missing people. (My introverted side was shocked!)

I know it is more difficult now, but we need to make the effort to cultivate and care for our real-life relationships.

Technology can be a wonderful thing. It has been a blessing to be able to utilize technology to stay connected with friends and family. From family gatherings, to online concerts, to distance learning, technology has been a great asset for all of us.

However, the beach background on my phone can’t compare to the real thing. Maintaining relationships via a screen is not the same as being in person. Obviously, we need to make the choices that are best for our families, but we cannot always live life behind a screen.

We need to care for our mental health as well as our physical health. We need real-life relationships.

When we returned to school in person in August, I could tell the kids were more than their usual back-to-school excited. When we left school in mid-March to go on spring break, COVID-19 was just rearing its ugly head. We had a backup plan in mind just in case we did not return to the school building after the break, but I really didn’t believe we’d need it.

As I turned off my light and glanced around my classroom that day in March, I had no idea I would not be back for three months or that I wouldn’t see my students in person again for six months.

I can’t tell you how happy I was during our open house the Friday before school started. (Our open house was socially distanced and completed in shifts.) I did not stop smiling all day. The kids and the parents clearly felt the same way.

We desperately need real-life, human connection. We just connect better in person. With the presidential election looming, I have seen more and more divisive posts on social media. I have seen Christians accusing one another of not being Christians if they vote a certain way. I have seen name-calling and wild assumptions. (I did not want to take a political turn, but so much of what I have seen lately has just really gotten to me. To be clear, I have seen it from both sides.)

Some of this could be tempered by some deep, in-real-life conversations. I usually refrain from commenting on or participating in political posts on social media because I have rarely seen anything productive come from a political discussion on Facebook. However, I can’t help but think that if we could only have in-person conversations with each other, we might just understand each other better. We might be willing to listen more intently if we were face-to-face.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7 CSB).

I pray that Christians will be the first example. Let’s make an effort to show caring and compassion the way we would in real life. Let’s make an effort, however we can, to make contact with the people in our lives face-to-face. Even if it may have to be six feet apart for a while longer, we need to make an in-person, face-to-face connection as often as we can. Let’s make an effort to show the love God gives us to others.

Dana Herndon is a writer, blogger, and middle school teacher. She and her husband live in Georgia with their three children. In addition to teaching and writing, Dana loves to read, paddle board, and sometimes run. She blogs about faith, family, and enjoying the everyday life at danaherndon.com.

Photograph © Priscilla Du Preez, used with permission