The Superpowers of Introverts

I’m sitting in the living room of a lake house on a weekend getaway with a group of women. The room smells like pancakes and maple syrup. A small circle of us are curled up in our pajamas, savoring the last of our coffee and a few moments of conversation.

I listen intently to what’s being said and feel my heart begin to pound, as it often does when I have something important I want to say. I sometimes feel intimidated around these women, and I feel the temptation to hold back. I finally take a deep breath and ask, “Can I say something?” One of the women says, “Yes, Holley! You don’t talk much but when you do, we always know what you have to say will be worth hearing!”

A Shift in Perspective

This happened in my early twenties and became a pivotal moment for me. I’d recently attended a campus ministry meeting where I heard the word “introvert” for the first time. I instantly felt more understood. Yet I remained self-conscious about certain parts of who I was, like my need to listen and reflect before I shared my thoughts. I envied my extrovert friends who spoke their minds instantly and freely. But that day at the lake house I began to wonder, “What if the things I see as weaknesses are actually strengths?”

My quiet nature and ability to listen well led me to a career as bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. I’ve since added interactions with thousands of fellow introverts and years of study to my original hunch. I now believe, and research shows, that our struggles and superpowers are connected to each other.

For example, brain scans show that introverts use a longer, more complex brain pathway when we process. That pathway goes through several different areas of our minds.

This means introverts do need more time to reflect before responding. But it also means we’re intentional about our words, often bringing valuable depth, context, and insights to conversations. When we don’t honor our wiring and instead push ourselves to be more like extroverts (who use a shorter, faster brain pathway more focused on the here and now), then we can struggle with insecurity like I did at the lake house.

Insecurity ——————————— Introvert Brain Pathway —————————- Insightfulness

Struggle                                                                                                                   Superpower

How Growth Actually Happens

Moving toward our superpowers takes courage and hard work, especially if we’ve felt pressure to be someone we’re not. My counseling and life-coaching clients, especially introverts, often showed up for their first appointment and said, “There’s a part of myself I don’t like. I want you to help me get rid of it.”

Even the apostle Paul begged God several times to take away something he saw as a weakness. The divine answer he received? “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:8-9). Over the years I, like Paul, have come to believe what’s most powerful is not elimination but transformation. Who we are comes with potential struggles and strengths. That’s true for all of us, whether extroverts or introverts.

Growth happens not by changing who we are but by learning how to move away from struggles and toward our superpowers. Doing so activates our gifts, increases our well-being, and empowers us to make our greatest contributions to the world. This realization has changed my life, and I believe it will change yours.

Moving toward our superpowers starts by recognizing them. To help you start doing so, let’s look at three common introvert superpowers together.

Introvert Superpower: Focusing Intently

Introvert nervous systems operate like nets with small holes, which means we catch everything going on around us. We’re likely the first to notice a flicker of emotion crossing a friend’s face, the volume on the music getting turned up, or a detail in a project that’s not quite right yet. This makes us attentive friends, thoughtful hosts, and diligent workers.

Distractions clog our nets and keep us from being able to give our energy to what matters most. Eventually, we become overwhelmed—which can feel like a struggle. In moments when that happens the key is to remind ourselves of what’s happening. We can pause and say, “I have an amazing nervous system that’s working hard right now. My net is full, and I just need some time to empty it. Then I’ll be ready to take in more.”

James Mattis, a retired four-star general, was asked what he thought was the biggest leadership challenge in our world today. His answer? “A lack of reflection.” When you take the you need time to process, you are retrieving valuable gifts from your net that will benefit you and others later.

Introvert Superpower: Actual Popularity

Introverts sometimes struggle with feeling awkward in social situations. But in a fascinating study, researchers tried to find out what actually made middle schoolers popular. They distributed a survey asking kids questions like who they liked most, least, and why.

When the results were in they told the participants that someone “popular” was kind, cooperative, and trustworthy (all common introvert strengths). The kids protested that the “popular” kids were the opposite of those things. Researchers realized the word “popular” in middle school terms actually meant “dominant” not “most well-liked.”

The results of this study have since been replicated in other areas. Psychologist Ellen Hendriksen says about this phenomenon, “You don’t need to be someone you’re not. You don’t need to own the room to be liked. You don’t need to be a big shot, alpha, or self-important. Dominance, it turns out, equaled perceived popularity. Warmheartedness equaled actual popularity.”

Introvert Superpower: True Influence

When I connect with introverts, they often express a desire to make a difference in the world. Yet they struggle with wondering if they need to change in order to do so—especially in leadership positions. But a surprising ten-year study showed introvert CEOS are slightly more likely to outperform the expectations of their boards and investors.

And influence has changed in our world. It no longer even requires holding a position like CEO. Because of social media and other shifts, influence isn’t about position, it’s about personal relationships. It’s not about visibility but adding value. Think of the most influential people in your life, likely a parent, teacher, coach, or mentor.

The most influential people in our lives aren’t those who are the most successful; they’re the people who intentionally help make us more successful. Introverts are brilliant at leading from behind, supporting others, quietly advancing a cause, and doing the small, sometimes invisible things that actually make a big difference.

What Are Your Superpowers?

Pause and think of a struggle you have as an introvert. Now consider what a superpower connected to that struggle might be. I believe all of us, whether introverts or extroverts, are designed by God to fit his plan for our lives. He doesn’t compare us to anyone else, and we don’t have to either.

I wish I could go back to that lake house and tell a younger version of myself what I’m sharing with you today. It would have made such a difference. So I’m saying it to you now—Introvert, our noisy, chaotic world needs you to be exactly who you are more than ever before. You are here for such a time as this, you are created as you are for a purpose.

P.S. No one is one hundred percent introvert or extrovert. You can also take Holley’s free one-minute quiz, “What Percent Introvert Are You?” to find out how much introvert you have in you!

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. You can find out more about the book and how to get over $75 of free bonuses when you preorder, at holleygerth.com/introverts.

Photograph © Gabrielle Henderson, used with permission