Parenting Today: Harder Than Ever Before?

I recently attended a benefit dinner for a local Bible camp. The missions committee at my church bought a table and invited my husband and me to take two of the seats. I wore the dress I had worn to my brother’s wedding, chandelier earrings, and very uncomfortable shoes. I entered the dining room on my husband’s arm, noticed I was a tad overdressed, and took my assigned seat. It was such a fun night! We chit-chatted over cheese and fruit trays, sipped punch out of way-too-tiny glasses, and ate prime rib with a horseradish sauce that made my nose tickle. I traded desserts with my neighbor because hers looked better than mine. The meal ended with coffee and real sugar cubes. Great food, great company, great cause.

After the meal, the camp director took the stage. He thanked us for being there and told us what God has been doing in their midst. He shared the blessings and the struggles, the financial wins and the emotional losses. He told of children and teenagers who arrive at camp and experience authentic life change. He talked about the kids the camp attracts and how an investment in their ministry furthers God’s purpose and kingdom on earth.

Then he said, “Please stop saying, ‘It’s hard growing up these days.’”

Before I knew it, amid a large and restrained group of regular Baptists, I blurted out a loud, Pentecostal, “That’s right!” My husband looked at me with his eyes a little wider than usual, and I felt my cheeks go rosy. My impromptu interjection came from a spirit of gratitude. Mr. Camp Director, I wanted to say, thank you so much for saying that! It is so nice to hear someone say what I’ve long felt. Friends, we have got to stop saying how hard it is for kids to grow up “these days.” We have got to stop saying that parenting today is harder than it’s ever been. It’s discouraging to today’s parents—and I’m not even sure it’s true.

I am not denying that we live in challenging times. It is increasingly difficult to find an appropriate movie for our family’s weekly pizza-and-movie night. Online predators are terrifyingly widespread. Middle-schoolers are expected to know and declare their sexual orientation. Parental involvement laws are being questioned, making it possible for extremely young girls to have an abortion without their parents’ knowledge or consent (and parents can’t even be given information after-the-fact unless the child grants the parent access to their medical records!). My kids face dilemmas I didn’t face, are told lies I wasn’t told, and see things I never saw. Things that might once have been whispered behind cupped hands are now publicly broadcasted. I would be silly or ignorant to say that kids these days have it easy out there—they don’t.

But I am raising my kids “out there” during “these days.”

Is it scarier out there today than it was twenty years ago, when I was a teenager? Is it more dangerous, more toxic, more threatening? Is sin more attractive, immorality more pervasive, folly more embraced? Is the human heart more calloused, the human mind more confused?

I’m not sure.

Each generation has its pitfalls. Sin isn’t new—nothing under the sun is new. Cultures past were known to dedicate their daughters to sexual servitude in the temple (old-school human trafficking). Ancient peoples sacrificed their children to the gods (old-school abortion). Children in the ’50s faced racism and glass ceilings. The ’60s had LSD and the free love movement. The ’70s were a time of terrible political unrest; the decade saw a whopping 40 percent increase in suicide rates among teens. The ’80s was the era of STDs and economic recession. Do you see where I’m going with this? Two thousand years ago, the apostle Paul talked of sin that “so easily entangles.” Solomon’s wisdom literature warns of the adulteress who lures in her unsuspecting victims. Maybe the good old days weren’t quite as good as we remember them.

It’s probably fair to say that people are more brazen today, but the human condition is no more corrupted than it has ever been. We fell, as a race, flat on our faces and have been wallowing in the mud ever since.

I can’t raise my kids in any other place at any other time. My kids are living now—they are growing up now, and I am raising them now. Do I worry about them? Of course I do. In the same way my parents worried about me and my grandparents worried about my parents. Parenting today is extremely difficult, just as it was 200 years ago. The temptations take different forms, but their allure is the same.

What if I’m wrong? What if kids today do have it worse than we did? Well, just as they always have, the people of God will rise to meet the challenges of their day. It’s happening. I see youth leaders who are engaging kids where they are, with the issues they face and the questions they have. I see open conversations happening on real-life topics that were previously buried under layers of embarrassment and denial. I see 2020’s platforms being used to invest in 2020’s kids.

The Spirit enables today’s parents to raise today’s children.

It is tough to be a kid just as it is tough to be a parent. All we can do is give it our very best shot to equip them for adulthood, praying all the while.

Do our kids have it rough growing up these days? Absolutely they do. But God can and does equip us for such a time as this.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he gives
But sweeter still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days
Because He lives.[1]

Amy Beaulieu lives in Michigan with her husband and four (soon to be five!) children. She is a lover of music, language, and all things thought-provoking. She is a witness and testimony to God’s redemptive grace.