Will You Leave a Legacy of Love?

“Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” (Matt. 22:34-40 NIV)

When I think of love, I think of Josephine and Lorraine. Although they were different in many ways, my grandmothers were alike in their ability to make people feel loved and cherished. My grandmothers weren’t famous leaders with an enormous reach. They each had a small circle of influence in their lives. They faithfully poured into that small circle until their dying days.

Grandma Josie was the queen of hospitality. She had a five-course meal ready whenever we arrived, no matter the hour. Extended family members gathered at her home to play cards and visit frequently. She included the kids in the kitchen, letting us cut off the green tops of strawberries as she sterilized jars for jam. When she wasn’t busy hosting, she taught us to make daisy crowns, play cards, and how to tell if a blackberry was ready to pick. She spent a portion of her week volunteering to take seniors shopping when she was well into her senior years herself. She was the sole caregiver of my grandfather as he battled Alzheimer’s Disease, taking patient care of him even as he forgot she was his wife of over fifty years.

Grandma Lorraine was also a gatherer of people. I have fond memories of large family gatherings at her home, my cousins and I splashing in the pool as the adults laughed at old family stories. My dad’s parents never missed a chance to travel with our family. I spent many beautiful summer days off the rocky coast of Maine, talking and laughing with my grandmother. As a child, I remember feeling so special seeing Grandma Lorraine and Grandpa Ed in the audience of my dance recitals. I was filled with pride, knowing they had traveled to Pennsylvania from New Hampshire just to watch me dance a few numbers that totaled less than twenty minutes combined. In her later years, Grandma Lorraine showered my own children with that same radical love.

I consider my grandmothers to be two of the biggest influences on my faith development. Both women had a strong Catholic faith. We attended mass when we visited them, but it wasn’t the church attendance that left its mark on me. Josephine and Lorraine embodied Jesus’ command to love. They freely gave their time, attention, and affection to everyone in their orbit. They raised my parents, who embodied that spirit of love first with my siblings and me, and now with our children. Although my grandmothers have both passed on to eternal life, their legacy of love lives on today in the lives they touched.

I tend to be a bit of a nerd. Growing up, I always wanted to have the right answer to everything. I was the kid who read the dictionary and encyclopedia as a hobby. When I recommitted to faith as an adult, I wanted to know all there was to know about living a life pleasing to God. I participated in inductive Bible studies, dissecting each verse for its context and meaning. I pored over theology books. I studied the history of the church. I felt I had to have all the right answers in order for my faith to impact others.

I do believe it’s essential to be able to articulate what we believe and why. But when I look back, the people who have impacted my faith the most have done so with their love, not their theology or their right answers. These days I am more focused on fulfilling the commandment to love than on having a solution to all the questions. I have traded in a quest for certainty for a life of radical kindness and wholehearted living, no matter the cost.

On the surface, the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself may seem simple. While the commandment isn’t complicated, it is certainly not easy. Anyone who has spent time with a difficult relative, cranky acquaintance or overtired toddler knows showing love can take every bit of energy you have. Love requires sacrifice. Loving my neighbor as myself means anticipating their needs and giving up some of my comfort and privilege to make them feel valued.

Jesus tells his disciples people will recognize them as Christians by their love for one another (John 13:35). Our love is the most excellent tool we have to invite people into a life-changing relationship with Christ. Our politics, theology, and doctrine will fall short of the power we have in love.

Church, we have work to do. Many unbelievers today associate Christians with words like hypocrite, divided, and infighting more than love. We can change this perception by loving the people in our families and communities well. We can remember we have more in common than we have different and learn to fight fair when conflicts arise. We can love our neighbors with the way we vote and shop. We can work every day to become a little better at caring for those around us.

At the funeral services for my grandmothers, I was overwhelmed by the number of people who shared condolences with my family and spoke of the way my grandmothers made them feel adored. I am confident Josephine and Lorraine entered into eternity with the call, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” My challenge to all of us is to live in a manner that leaves no doubt we are fulfilling the Greatest Commandment. Will you leave a legacy of love?

Lindsay Hufford is a small-scale farmer, home educator, chicken chaser, kitchen dancer, and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include spending time with her family, exploring the natural world, reading, eating spicy food, and singing loudly in the car (to the embarrassment of her children). Lindsay believes sharing our stories will change the world. She writes about farming, homeschooling, faith, mental health, sobriety, and living an unconventional life. You can follow her adventures at peckandpetalfarm.com.

Photograph © Damir Bosnjak, used with permission