Age Is a Gift
This month I turn forty. I’ve never been one to care much about my age. I suspect that got filtered out early on, when the lunch ladies at school mistook me for a teacher (no-I-do-not-want-to-pay-the-staff-price-thank-you-very-much-I’m-sixteen) or “carded” me for the student discount at movies because they couldn’t believe I wasn’t a full-fledged adult. Fast-forward to today, when people ask me if I am my four-year-old daughter’s grandmother. Oh well. I know how old I am and, until now, I have literally been a member of the younger half of my generation. That all changes this year.
As it turns out, the average life expectancy for a woman in the United States is right around eighty years old. That means, should the statistics hold true for my own life, I am entering the second half of my existence on this planet. As startling as that may sound at forty years old, I don’t find it upsetting, but I do find it grounding. God’s Word has a lot to say about age, purpose, and generational influence. There is one very specific passage dedicated to the role of older women. So here I am, gray hair in a ponytail, ready to learn what God expects of me. Let’s get to it!
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”
Oh, help. Those verses have a couple of cultural doozies in them, don’t they? Any commentary on what a woman is “supposed” to be doing in 2020 is a possible land mine of controversy. However, I want you to hang with me. It’s never a good idea to take our spiritual scissors to God’s Word. In all my years of studying, I have found that he always finds a way to make it plain and to make it reflect his love. With that in mind, let’s settle in and see what we can learn from the only verses in the Bible that are specifically written about the role of the older woman.
Scripture begins by saying older women are to be “reverent.” Reverent is not a word we use much anymore. It literally means, “Feeling or showing deep and solemn respect.” This concept of living reverently is then directly tied to avoiding slander (not saying false, damaging things about people) and not being addicted to wine. My friend, this is not about being a Goody Two-shoes. It’s about being kind with our mouths and responsible with our habits. I think we can get on board with those general concepts. It makes sense that we can mentor young women more effectively if we’re living respectfully, not being hateful or indulgent. We’re not required to be perfect. However, it’s a standard he knows will help us in our work, and his grace goes with us as we try to live up to it.
OK, we’ve attended to that first part about how the older woman is supposed to live. So what about those second two lines? The ones where we start “urging” these young gals to do certain things? Well, while the biblical translation may sound a little stifling, I want you to hear what they may sound like lived out over a cup of coffee in a toy-strewn living room, or from the older woman who noticed the young mom at church and knew she could use a little encouragement:
“Hang in there, sweetheart. I know it’s hard. I remember those days when I was trying to care for my husband, my children, and my home without losing my mind. I remember feeling overwhelmed by the laundry and the errands all while trying to be kind and spend my own time with Jesus in the middle of it. It’s a hard thing to balance all that you want to pursue while also trying to encourage your husband as he works to lead your family. Sweet girl, breathe. You are doing better than you think. Lean into Jesus and remember you are just one of the many, many women who have worked through these challenges. Call me. Let me help you every once in a while. Let me love you from the other side. I’ve made it through my youth. Now it’s my job to help you make it through yours. You are not supposed to do this alone. That’s why I am here.”
That’s it, girls. God’s Word, as dated as it may sound at times, is never off the mark. Age is a gift, and as I enter into this sacred space of being “the older woman,” I want to embrace it. I want to understand how God is calling me to something as much now as he did in my youth. There is a specific job ahead in this second half of life. I am now uniquely “qualified” to bless and encourage my sisters, my friends, my daughter and her friends. What so many women have done for me, I can now do for others.
Age is not a burden, dear readers. Age is a gift. Let us use it well.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12 NIV)
“Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” (Job 12:12 NIV)
“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.” (Psalm 71:18 NIV)
is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coach’s wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and are passionate about reaching people for Christ and sharing information on coaching, marriage, family, and mental health. Read more from Anne at www.annerulo.com.
Photograph © Christina Morillo, used with permission
