Called to Be Kind
I vividly remember my youth pastor’s wife in high school giving the girls in our youth group at the time a gentle admonishment: You can be kind no matter your personality.
Some women are sugary sweet while some of us are spicy. Some wouldn’t hurt a fly while some speak sarcasm fluently. We need both! We can be Jesus to others and display the fruit of the spirit.
Sweet Personalities
Those of you who are sweet are so needed and precious. I’m so grateful for you. You generally feel deeply and are sensitive to the feelings of others. You are caregivers and servants. Your very nature tends to result in fruits of the spirit on display. You are gentle and loving and patient.
When I think of someone in my life who embodies these traits, two friends at work come to mind. They are both extremely positive, they never have a bad word to say about anyone, and they take on tasks even if they don’t fall within their job description. I’m grateful for the positivity each of them brings to our relationship.
As a general rule, some of the qualities of Jesus might seem to come more naturally to this group. They tend to be kind and loving. The question is, are women with this personality remembering to care for themselves? Are they loving themselves well?
Some women in this camp will serve others at the expense of their own health and well-being. Appropriate boundaries can sometimes be hard. Standing up for themselves when treated unfairly comes as a challenge.
Spicy Personalities
Some of us would self-describe as spicy. I can see some of both in myself, but I fit this category. Sarcasm is my love language (along with quality time and acts of service.) I am direct and am not shy about sharing my opinion. When I see processes that could use improving, I’m willing to speak into them to make them better for all involved. I don’t do this in mean-spirited ways, but I can come off as abrasive at times, especially with those I’m closest to.
The benefits of a spicy personality are numerous as well. Spicy women tend to be funny and endearing. They are strong and opinionated in the best ways. They solve problems and typically make great leaders.
Sometimes spicy women can be unkind or harsh in their delivery. They can disregard the feelings, needs, or opinions of others. They can put up walls where they’re not needed.
All Personalities
Of course, we’re all unique, and few of us will fit squarely into one of these two camps. But I hope you can pick out a few areas that are true for you. God made us unique and beautiful with our individual personalities. Sweet, spicy, and everything in between—it’s all special to our Creator.
God didn’t say only those of us who are sweet should display the fruit of the spirit. We can all serve God and follow him, despite our personality traits. We cannot use them as an excuse.
I might be spicy and sarcastic, but that doesn’t excuse me from being kind and helpful, so I try to be both. When I do cross the line and am unkind in my delivery, I try to own it quickly. Similarly, those of you who are naturally sweet cannot use that as an excuse to neglect love and care for yourselves.
A quick note about those I often call salty. We all know about mean girls. Meanness starts early. I remember my girls dealing with it as early as second grade. If you are salty and find yourself feeling cranky or unkind more often than not, this is less your personality and more a personal choice. I’d encourage some deep soul searching to determine why you tend to lead with anger. It may involve therapy or a good book. Meanness is not OK because it doesn’t reflect Jesus.
When my youth pastor’s wife admonished us in high school that we must all be kind regardless of our personalities, it was because she’d heard some girls saying things like, “God didn’t create me like that.” In their minds, this excused them from fully following Jesus.
God created all of us with unique personalities, yes, but we are all called to be kind, loving, and joyful regardless of our personality traits. We can be sarcastic and kind. We can be faithful and gentle because Jesus asks it of us.
Jesus doesn’t ask us to do or be something that is impossible for us. We all need to lean on the Spirit to be like him.
is a Jesus follower, wife, mom of three, church planter, finance director, and lover of sarcasm and deep conversation with friends. She also loves camping, rafting, skiing, sewing, and having people over. Amy blogs with her husband at fringechurch.com.
Photograph © Chris Murray, used with permission
