Bless the Wrestlers

That night, Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

The man answered him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” (Genesis 32:22-28 NIV)

If I could describe parenting in one word, I think that word would be surprising. I never anticipated so many aspects of parenthood before having my children. I didn’t know I could love a child so fiercely. I discovered the depths of helplessness I was capable of feeling when one of my children needed life-sustaining oxygen for several months. I have been shocked by the emotional exhaustion of raising a tween that rivals the physical exhaustion of caring for a newborn.

Many of these surprises are serious, but humorous surprises are my favorite. My youngest is the comedian of the family. He has given us many opportunities to laugh until we cry with his antics. He recently gave me one of my biggest parenting surprises with his new interest: pro wrestling.

Wrestling isn’t a part of our family culture. We don’t watch wrestling or own anything wrestling-related. We were quite shocked when our youngest started telling us all about pro wrestlers like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and John Cena. Seemingly overnight, our son was requesting wrestling books from the library, challenging us all to living room brawls, and eating three eggs for breakfast so he could become “a strong guy.”

This new interest in wrestling provides lots of comedic relief in our family. It has also been an unforeseen encouragement to me for a different kind of wrestling. While my sons grapple with each other on the carpet, I marvel at the endurance and tenacity it takes to wrestle. These qualities are needed in spiritual wrestling, too.

I am so glad the story of Jacob wrestling God made it into the Bible we have today. For most of my spiritual journey, I didn’t give much thought to the tale of Jacob wrestling in the night with a man most scholars identify as an angel or as God himself. In recent years, I have wrestled with faith–with theology, Scripture, the church, and even with God. One of my mentors calls this a time of “holy discontent” in my life. If I am honest, this wrestling is exhausting, and some days I long to return to the time when I didn’t question any aspect of my faith.

Scripture tells us that Jacob walked away from that encounter with a limp. Spiritual wrestling has changed me, leaving a mark on my soul if not my physical body. In wrestling, I have traded the pride of certainty for the humility of curiosity. I have experienced the pain of lost relationships and loneliness. I will not lie or even sugarcoat the truth: wrestling comes at a cost.

In addition to his wound, Jacob came away from his encounter with God with a blessing. At the end of their all-night brawl, God gives Jacob a new name: Israel. Israel would grow from a man to a nation through which the Savior of the world was born.

Blessings result from our wrestling as well. God has given me a new community of fellow wrestlers. I have a new compassion for the marginalized. Most importantly, I feel closer to God now than I did when I suppressed my questions and doubts for fear of rocking the boat.

If you feel a stirring in your soul that frightens you, I’m here to tell you wrestling with faith is worth the cost. It’s uncomfortable and scary. It is also enlightening and produces new growth. As we learn from Jacob, sometimes the only way to end the fight is to refuse to let go of God, no matter how hard the battle becomes. You will be changed and blessed for persevering in the fight.

Lord, bless the wrestlers, the doubters, and the questioners. Help us to remember you are love, and you are a safe place for us to process our concerns. You meet us where we are and lead us through to great insight and understanding when we cling to you in the storm. Blessed be your name. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24 ESV)

O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you “Violence!” and you will not save? (Habakkuk 1:2 ESV)

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” (Isaiah 40:27-29 NIV)

People of faith have experienced questioning and doubt throughout time. Thankfully, Scripture also encourages us that not only can God handle our strife, but he also provides strength during trying times.

Reach for More

One of the greatest dangers of wrestling in our faith is the feeling that we are alone. I have been greatly encouraged by reading the stories of saints as well as hearing the experiences of friends on similar journeys. If you have a wrestling story to share, we’d love to hear it. Please use the hashtag #tgtreachformore to share your story with us.

Lindsay Hufford is a small-scale farmer, home educator, chicken chaser, kitchen dancer, and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include spending time with her family, exploring the natural world, reading, eating spicy food, and singing loudly in the car (to the embarrassment of her children). Lindsay believes sharing our stories will change the world. She writes about farming, homeschooling, faith, mental health, sobriety, and living an unconventional life. You can follow her adventures at peckandpetalfarm.com.

Photograph © Hisu Lee, used with permission