Are You Engaging Face-to-Face?
Last fall, we took a mini-vacation to Lake Sinclair in central Georgia. We rented a small house with a dock, located in a small cove. Cell phone reception was limited, and the internet connection only worked intermittently. We were forced to go four days without connecting online and checking social media—it was amazing!
Being on vacation obviously reduced my stress level, but I think not being able to connect to social media contributed a good bit to that reduction. Social media is noise—sometimes too much noise. Granted, good things can happen because of social media, but I really believe the constant checking and scrolling heightens our stress and anxiety.
I had been wanting to give up social media for a while, or at least limit it a good bit. Various commitments require me to be on social media some, and I do like to keep up with friends and family, so I knew I couldn’t delete it altogether. However, the need to check my phone and scroll whenever I have downtime needed to go. It was becoming a crutch—a way to feel like I was engaging in the real world when I was really trying to escape it.
As I paddled through the cove one evening, I simply listened. I heard my paddle slicing through the water, birds tittering, and a fish jumping. My mind felt clear and focused on one thing—what was right in front of me in real life. Then I knew for sure, I had to cut the noisy distraction of social media. I had to return to more in-real-life engagement.
While I love my job, teaching can be mentally and physically exhausting. Some days, after work, I feel I have nothing left to give, which is not an option for me because I still have kids at home who deserve my attention in the evenings.
I developed a bad habit that my kids in turn embraced—zoning out on the internet after school. My children do not have social media. My sixteen-year-old son doesn’t want it (smart), and my ten-year-old daughter is not allowed to have it. However, as I collapsed on the couch for “just a minute” with my tablet to mind-numbingly scroll, they followed my lead by vegging out on random YouTube videos.
I knew I needed to put a stop to it—it wasn’t good for anyone—but, honestly, I was just too tired and liked my scrolling a little too much.
Enter the much-needed fall break, when we were forced off the internet. It was easy to stay off social media when there was no way to access it. The choice was made for us. However, it was great to see the benefits of being away from it. I understood that removing it from our after-school activities list would be rewarding.
It was much more difficult to limit screen time for myself when we returned home and the world was at our fingertips again. Aimless scrolling and brainless screen time are not healthy ways to recharge. In fact, all that screen time really just drains us more.
So we are making a concerted effort to put the screens away for longer and longer periods of time. I am trying to get outside and take a walk after school instead of crashing on the couch with my face in a screen.
Removing screen time from my routine also removed the false sense of engagement I had. Face-to-face interaction is so important. Even introverts need to interact with others in person. This is especially true for Christians. While the written word is obviously a powerful tool, it is not the tool for all occasions. To truly be the hands and feet of Christ, we need to be engaging with others on a personal level, not just from behind a keyboard. Sometimes you need to be physically beside someone as you support them. You need to be able to look them in the eye, squeeze their hand, or offer a hug.
The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis is a collection of “letters” between two demons who are trying to corrupt a human and keep him from the cause of Christ. One of their main strategies is distraction. If they can distract their “patient” from focusing on Christ and keep him focused on surface-level concerns, they win. Screwtape encourages his nephew, Wormwood, to keep his patient from thinking too much and keep his attention on inconsequential events.
While The Screwtape Letters was published in the early 1940s, its message is still applicable today. The distraction Screwtape speaks of can easily be the stream of constant information we scroll through on our devices. When we allow our focus on the streaming from our screens to become our “real life,” we are missing out.
I am trying to apply the lessons I learned at the lake every day, in real life. My phone background is now a picture of the peaceful cove to remind me of the peace and quiet I felt as a result of being away from the internet and the benefits of engaging with others face-to-face.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
is a writer, blogger, and middle school teacher. She and her husband live in Georgia with their three children. In addition to teaching and writing, Dana loves to read, paddle board, and sometimes run. She blogs about faith, family, and enjoying the everyday life at danaherndon.com.
Photograph © John Tuesday, used with permission
