Worshiping God Alone
Growing up in Kansas City, I experienced a unique Thanksgiving tradition. We did all the common things: the turkey, the pies, the gathering of family. But then we would bundle up, leave the house, and make the trek to “The Plaza.” Just south of downtown Kansas City, the Country Club Plaza is a beautiful fifteen-block shopping district modeled after the Moorish architecture of Seville, Spain.
For some ninety years, from Thanksgiving through January, these incredible buildings are covered from top to bottom with Christmas lights. Thousands of people like our family walk their turkey-stuffed selves down the hills into The Plaza to listen to music, mingle with humanity, and ultimately participate in the countdown as those beautiful lights come on.
It is an incredible tradition and a beautiful sight, but I admit I don’t often go anymore. As a mama of littles, I am a little intimidated by the growing crowds. I tried to find an accurate headcount somewhere but only found phrases like “tens of thousands” and “up to 100,000” people. Suffice it to say there are a whole lot of souls packed into a fifteen-block area. When I can’t discern the end of myself from those around me, I tend to bow out and watch the merriment from the comfort of my living room. Recently, it was these very crowds that God used to show me something.
I have written previously about a difficult situation a couple of years ago that really challenged my faith and prayer life. It seems God is at work again in this area as I have continued to pray for “understanding” for that situation and others that just don’t seem to make “sense.” This is how these prayers go:
“Help me understand, Lord.”
“Help me see what you are doing.”
“Help me make sense of what you are up to.”
And then this morning, a little nugget came back, a sort of whisper to my spirit: Are you worshiping me, or are you worshiping understanding?
Dang, he’s good.
I have always been an “intellectualizer.” I want to know what makes a thing work. I tend toward facts over feelings. I like to read about the how and why of a process. I got into mental health as a career because I was fascinated by the way people made sense of their lives and how adjusting a person’s understanding could help them move past roadblocks in their lives. I have staked my flag for years on the belief that if I can just understand something, if I can just let God move around enough pieces in my mind for me to make sense of how it all fits into his plan, then I’ll be okay.
Except now I realize, that wasn’t worshiping God alone. That was worshiping understanding.
This may feel like an overly nuanced idea, but let me see if I can help bring it home. We can find ourselves really enjoying things that come from God, particularly aspects of his character. As an example, God is a God of peace, and our experience of worshiping him can create a feeling of peace. The difficulty comes when we need the feeling of peace in order to still worship him, trust him, follow him, etc. More tangibly, God is the “giver of all good things” (James 1:17 NIV), but when we find ourselves needing those good things in order to maintain our connection with him, we are worshiping the things and not him.
When I became so focused on wanting understanding, it was the understanding that I came to worship, rather than the one who can choose to give it to me or not. If I am willing to worship the God of understanding, I must also be willing to worship him in his mystery.
The enemy has a unique knack for making something seem right that is actually just left of truth. It seems like asking for understanding is a totally normal and acceptable way to approach God. And it is. Until it isn’t. With that little question, Are you worshiping me, or are you worshiping understanding?, I found myself fascinated by how close those two ideas were, like the people shoved together in a Thanksgiving Day crowd at The Plaza. But no matter how close they may be, they are different entities.
It sounds a little bit dogmatic and intense to say it this way, but God deserves to be worshipped because he is God. Period. All the other stuff—the attributes of his character, the way his love overflows to us in the form of peace or joy or blessing or wisdom or whatever good thing he has given us—is extra. And I’m grateful for it. But I’m going to try not to worship those things anymore. I realize now that I have been bowing at the feet of the crowd of things around God, rather than worshiping God alone. It is a great freedom to remove these “conditions” from our worship.
God plus nothing. I will worship you because you are God. And then, if you choose to send your love through the blessing of peace, or understanding, or whatever else it may be, I will be overflowing rather than filled. Filling is for something that had a void. Overflowing happens when you are already full. May we always be filled up by him and him alone.
“I say: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him.” (Lam. 3:24 HCSB)
is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coach’s wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and are passionate about reaching people for Christ and sharing information on coaching, marriage, family, and mental health. Read more from Anne at www.annerulo.com.
Photograph © Winston Chen, used with permission
